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# Govt at Last Being ‘Open and Transparent’
- URL: https://goodoil.news/govt-at-last-being-open-and-transparent/
- Published: 2022-12-19T21:30:00.000Z
- Updated: 2022-12-19T00:36:55.000Z
- Author: Guest Post
- Tags: Fun Stuff, NZ, NZ Politics, Politics, #wp, #wp-post, #Import 2024-07-16 22:34

**Kay O’Lacey**

[wokejoke.nz](https://wokejoke.nz/government/new-ministerial-positions-announced/?ref=goodoil.news)

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At a Press conference at the Beehive this morning Prime Minister Ardern released the new cabinet and ministerial line-up for next year.

“As we expect that this will be the last Labour Government for at least the next 30 years, or perhaps ever, we’ve taken a ‘gloves off’ approach to pressing ahead with our radical plans.”

“Accordingly Ministers will be left doing what they haven’t been doing much of so far, but we’ll be renaming the portfolios to better reflect the actual roles we have in mind”

While many at the presser were initially shocked by the new Ministerial titles, especially as it would be ‘quite hard’ putting a positive pro-government spin on this, they found some relief in the fact that the government was at last being ‘open and transparent’ as was actually promised back in 2020.

| **Who**               | **Responsibilities**                                                                                                                                                                     |
| --------------------- | ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| Rt Hon Jacinda Ardern | Pretend Prime MinisterMinister for Increasing Child PovertyAssociate Minister for Destroying Arts, Culture and HeritageMinister for National Insecurity and Profound Unintelligence      |
| Hon Grant Robertson   | Deputy Pretend Prime MinisterMinister of Fiscal RuinMinister for Destroying InfrastructureMinister for Overweight Sport and Recreation                                                   |
| Hon Kelvin Davis      | Minister of Race-BaitingMinister of Failed Corrections                                                                                                                                   |
| Hon Dr Megan Woods    | Associate Minister of Fiscal RuinMinister of Housing ShortageMinister of Lacking Energy and ResourcesMinister for Not Building and General De-Constructing                               |
| Hon Chris Hipkins     | Minister of Robbing Children of their Future by Poor EducationMinister of Keystone CopsMinister for the Bloating of Public Service                                                       |
| Hon Andrew Little     | Minister of Racist HealthMinister for Spying on KiwisMinister for 47-Year Suppurating Wound that is Treaty of Waitangi Negotiations                                                      |
| Hon Nanaia Mahuta     | Real Prime MinisterMaster of Connivance & Double-DealingAssociate Minister for Maori Cash HandoutsMinister of Laughing-Stock Foreign AffairsMinister for Destruction of Local Government |
| Hon Willie Jackson    | Angry Minister for Government Truth MediaAngry Minister for Maori Cash Handouts                                                                                                          |
| Hon Michael Wood      | Minister of Non-ImmigrationMinister of Potholes                                                                                                                                          |
| Hon Kiri Allan        | Minister for Injustice                                                                                                                                                                   |
| Hon Dr Ayesha Verrall | Associate Minister of Racist Health                                                                                                                                                      |
| Hon Marama Davidson   | Minister for Increasing Homelessness                                                                                                                                                     |
| Hon James Shaw        | Minister for Hapless Virtue Signalling                                                                                                                                                   |

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