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# How I Processed My Divorce through Music
- URL: https://goodoil.news/how-i-processed-my-divorce-through-music/
- Published: 2023-09-16T00:30:00.000Z
- Updated: 2023-09-15T19:35:16.000Z
- Author: Guest Post
- Tags: Music, NZ, #wp, #wp-post, #Import 2024-07-16 22:22

Music is a powerful healer and I used it through each stage of my grief as I processed the fact that my marriage had ended.

The first month was really rough. Below is the song that I first listened to, which spoke to me on a deep level regarding the pain I was feeling but on the other hand, made me smile at the same time.

It is sung by Miranda Lambert and called *Mama’s Broken Heart.* It touches so well on the pain and desire for revenge that grips you at the very start of the grieving process.

The stages of grief are **denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance**.

My next go-to song to express my anger was written by **Kelly Clarkson**, *Never Again.* The raw anger was a balm that I listened to over and over again.

Once I moved past anger I turned to another **Kelly Clarkson** song, *Since U Been Gone*, to try to convince myself that I was moving on. I wasn’t there yet but I needed a song to boost my determination to make it on my own.

Months passed and depression hit me as realised that I wasn’t going to move on as fast or as easily as I wanted to. I had to feel the pain without lashing out. I needed to vent my feelings without causing pain to anyone else. **Carly Pearce**‘s song *What He Didn’t Do* expressed that feeling beautifully. I felt wronged but I was not going to let that feeling turn me into a vindictive person.

One day I woke up and realised that I was not feeling sad. It was a strange feeling as I had been crying for months and had been unable to feel any happiness. I wasn’t ‘fixed’ but I was experiencing periods of happiness. It was as if I were ice and it was beginning to thaw. With tears in my eyes, I listened to Clara Mae’s *Not Sad Anymore* and celebrated the fact that I had passed a milestone and was on the road to recovery.

More time followed, and I realised that I was no longer focused on him or our relationship. I realised that I would not feel jealous if he was with someone else. My love for him was still there but it was no longer a deep love. It was a forgiving love that was able to let him go with no anger in my heart. Astrid S’s song *It’s Ok If You Forget Me* is a sad song about letting go without wishing bad things on the person who hurt you. I felt at peace listening to this song knowing that I had finally got to this place.

My final acceptanceof the death of our relationship was summed up by this beautiful song *Better On My Own.* **Keisya Levronka** is an artist few will be familiar with as most of her songs are not in English. Her lilting voice expresses the reality of the situation but in a strong empowered way. Listening to her I realised that I was going to be okay and in fact, my future looked bright.

It is fair to say that I have not only gone through all the stages of grief; now I am positively joyful. My final song, which put a full stop to that horrible period of my life, is *It’s A Beautiful Day* sung by the gorgeous **Michael Bublé.** Life is for living and now that I have processed everything I realise that it was all for the best and in fact my ex did me a huge favour. The sky is now the limit and I get to put myself first for the first time in decades. It is certainly a beautiful day.