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# ‘I Wanna Be Just Like Jacinda’, Says Zippy
- URL: https://goodoil.news/i-wanna-be-just-like-jacinda-says-zippy/
- Published: 2023-07-22T04:00:00.000Z
- Updated: 2023-07-21T05:41:51.000Z
- Author: Cam Slater
- Tags: AUS Politics, Economy, NZ, Politics, #wp, #wp-post, #Import 2024-07-16 22:22

There’s no imported idea so bad or demonstrably so that the Albanese government isn’t prepared to fail at it, too. From nonsensically parroting the American “First Nations”, to “Net Zero”, there’s nothing that’s proved so disastrous that Albo and crew aren’t eagerly shouting, “We want to fail at it, too!”

Their latest is Treasurer **Jim Chalmers** aping **Jacinda Ardern**’s ludicrous “wellbeing budget”. (Waits for the collective groans echoing across the Tasman to subside.)

There isn’t an aspect of Ardern’s “wellbeing budget” that didn’t get worse under her reign. Housing affordability? Suicide rates? Mental health? All a solid bust. Child poverty? Pfft. Crime rates? Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of the gunshots and ramraids.

Over to you, Zippy.

> The Treasurer said the *Measuring What Matters* report, to be released on Friday morning, would provide policymakers, businesses and community groups with a more complete snapshot of national prosperity and progress than traditional economic metrics such as GDP.  
> The report spans 50 indicators aiming to gauge the national experience across five wellbeing themes: health, security, sustainability, cohesiveness, and prosperity.  
>  
> [The Australian](https://www.theaustralian.com.au/nation/politics/utopia-jim-chalmers-turns-back-time-in-wellbeing-budget/news-story/d0521af50ceb9008ef6a48d631d1b59b?ref=goodoil.news)

Chalmer’s own confidence in his ability to deliver “wellbeing” improvements can perhaps be judged by how obviously he’s fudging the figures before he’s even started.

Jim Chalmers’ long-awaited “wellbeing” budget has used out-of-date data to declare homeowners are finding it easier to repay mortgages, the disabled are less satisfied with services, and mental health is not a rising concern.

Hands up the homeowners who are really finding it easier to repay their mortgages?

![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/31/f4/31f4e20a-0315-499e-83ff-139e8eab53bf/content/images/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/the_bfd_ferrisbuelleranyone.gif)

In fact:

> Almost one-quarter of mortgage holders were at risk of mortgage stress as of December last year – and the number is only expected to get worse.  
>  
> [The Guardian](https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/feb/11/australias-looming-mortgage-stress-crisis-what-the-nine-interest-rate-rises-mean-for-households?ref=goodoil.news)

As for mental health:

> A new review on the global mental health impact of the pandemic confirms feared increases in depression and anxiety, with leading experts saying little has been done to address what is set to become a mounting mental health crisis.  
>  
> [University of Sydney](https://www.sydney.edu.au/news-opinion/news/2023/03/09/moving-on-from-covid-means-facing-its-impact-on-mental-health--s.html?ref=goodoil.news)

So, how is Zippy getting away with such obvious bullshit?

> The old data fails to reflect the Covid-19 pandemic, billions of dollars in extra NDIS spending, and the most aggressive series of interest rate hikes in a generation \[…\]  
>  
> the document – part of an election promise to deliver a “version of New Zealand’s wellbeing budget” — relies heavily on old data that predates the devastating impact of pandemic lockdowns, the cost-of-living crisis, and the blow to millions of family budgets from a dozen Reserve Bank rate hikes over the past year.  
>  
> The report includes an “overall life satisfaction” rating based on an Australian Bureau of Statistics survey from 2020.  
>  
> [The Australian](https://www.theaustralian.com.au/nation/politics/utopia-jim-chalmers-turns-back-time-in-wellbeing-budget/news-story/d0521af50ceb9008ef6a48d631d1b59b?ref=goodoil.news)

So, before Covid really hit hard, before the forced vaccinations, and before the world’s longest lockdowns saw a substantial number of Australians living under martial law for the first time in history.

Still, Zippy the Pinhead told one truth about his “wellbeing budget”: it really is just like New Zealand’s… a complete farce.

But, hey, surely things can only get better?

With this clown show in charge? If you believe that, I’ve got a cycle bridge over Auckland Harbour to sell you.

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