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# I’d Watch That for a Dollar!
- URL: https://goodoil.news/id-watch-that-for-a-dollar/
- Published: 2022-09-21T23:30:00.000Z
- Updated: 2022-09-21T06:42:56.000Z
- Author: Cam Slater
- Tags: Fun Stuff, Sport, #wp, #wp-post, #Import 2024-07-16 22:48

There might actually be a reason to watch a bunch of poonces in skin-tight lycra ride bicycles around on the telly for once. If demented, vicious avians are going to turn a cycle race into a blend of *Birdemic* and *Death Race 2000*, well count me mildly interested.

> When a thousand elite riders in the world’s largest road cycling championship came to Australia, it seems that one detail was overlooked – the threat posed by angry birds.  
>  
> “It was terrifying. But that’s Australia, apparently. I hope it’s the only time it happens, but I am afraid of it,” said the Belgian rider **Remco Evenepoel**, one of several competitors in the UCI World Road Championships to have been dive-bombed by Australian magpies over the weekend.

I always kind of liked magpies. Their song is the sound of morning, as far as I’m concerned. Plus they can be excellent mimics: I’ve heard one talking, imitating dogs and horses. Sure, they’re bastards, but in an endearing way.

Even more endearing, when they’re dive-bombing cyclists.

> Native to Australia and southern New Guinea, the Australian magpie is known for its carolling song and intelligence – it is said it can remember up to 30 human faces. It is also a vicious protector during its peak September mating season. Adult males, which are much bigger than their European cousins, defend their nests by swooping on anything they consider a threat.

With their usual blase disregard for the rest of the world, the cyclists didn’t deign to notice the warning signs, right where they put their finish line. Now they’re getting a comeuppance.

> The finish line of the race is close to a sign that for years has warned cyclists of a magpie attack hot spot.  
>  
> “Birds swooping!” it reads. “Dismount and walk your bike through this area. Magpies are nesting in this area.”  
>  
> Dismounting is hardly an option for the more than 1,000 cyclists from 70 nations competing in the week-long event; it is one of the top five sporting spectacles in the world, watched by more than 300 million viewers \[…\]  
>  
> \[“O\]ne of our guys has been attacked already by a magpie,” \[Swiss competitor, **Stefan Kung**\] said.  
>  
> [The Australian](https://www.theaustralian.com.au/world/the-times/angry-magpies-steal-limelight-at-uci-world-road-championships-in-wollongong/news-story/101e2ae605c0f0506368678d9aaca8c7?ref=goodoil.news)

Maybe they should have held the race in Tasmania: our magpies are way more relaxed.

> “For whatever reason Tasmanian magpies don’t swoop in the same way that mainland magpies swoop,” BirdLife Tasmania ornithologist **Eric Woehler** said \[…\]  
>  
> “We’ve known for many, many years that our birds aren’t aggressive like the mainland ones,” he said.  
>  
> “We just know there is a difference, and we‘re thankful in Tasmania that we don’t have aggressive magpies.”  
>  
> [News.com.au](https://www.news.com.au/technology/science/animals/magpie-attacks-australia-why-dont-they-swoop-in-tasmania/news-story/600b6cc575605229eed21be10f817899?ref=goodoil.news)

He’s apparently forgetting the Murder Chickens (masked lapwings, aka plovers). Now, they’re vicious bastards — but I get on well enough with the ones who nest near us every year. Plus the chicks are the most adorable little balls of fluff.

Then they grow up.

![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/31/f4/31f4e20a-0315-499e-83ff-139e8eab53bf/content/images/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/ploverattack.jpg)

If you think magpies are bad, try running the gauntlet of these psycho bastards.

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