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# New Zealand’s Queen Addresses the Nation
- URL: https://goodoil.news/new-zealands-queen-addresses-the-nation/
- Published: 2020-03-28T21:30:00.000Z
- Updated: 2020-03-28T22:19:00.000Z
- Author: idbkiwi
- Tags: COVID-19, Fun Stuff, Health, NZ, NZ Politics, #wp, #wp-post, #Import 2024-07-17 03:24

Information

Satire

Good morning to you all; my Coronial Subjects, it is I: Go-hard Go-early Jacinda, Queen of New Zealand, Most-efficacious Saviour of the Nation.

You will all, by now, in this time of crisis, have noticed the superb communication skills I wield in the baddle against our common enemy, and my udder determination to rid this pleasant land of private enterprise and misconceptions both.

To this end, I have been extremely clear and transparent from the get-go, and on top of things, hard and early, prepared and ready to employ both my communication barrels, yes – head-nods AND double-adjectives – in my war on pestilent truth.

Those of you, my subjects, old enough, will remember my press conference of March 4th, 2020, when I nodded so furiously to emphasise a point I loosened a filling:

![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/31/f4/31f4e20a-0315-499e-83ff-139e8eab53bf/content/images/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/idbkiwi-the_bfd-d2.png)

The BFD

Reacting to the news of a second Kung-flu victim within these shores I employed a precise word as an adjective, an old word, a word older even than the Boomers, a word derived from Veritas – my predecessor as Goddess of Truth – to describe the potential risk posed to those who came in contact with asymptomatic Kung-flu carriers, saying to the nation: not that the risk of transmitting the virus was “low”, nor did I say the risk was “very low”, you will recall I declared the risk as “**very, very, low**“. And that is why we are here.

![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/31/f4/31f4e20a-0315-499e-83ff-139e8eab53bf/content/images/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/idbkiwi-very-very-low.png)

The BFD. Screenshot idbkiwi

I will now hand over to Basil Bush, Coordinator of Operations for the Ministry of Truth, to explain my demeaning. Thank you for understanding.

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