It is interesting to see the portfolios handed out by the ringmaster, or should that be mistress, and which clowns got what.
1. Jacinda Ardern – Minister of Poverty Reduction. A laugh first off. The word reduction is a complete misnomer.
2. Grant Robertson – Minister for Racing. Has to be horses as he needs to familiarise himself with hurdles. He’s got plenty coming up on the economic front. How many will he fall at?
3. Kelvin Davis – Minister of Corrections. Any guesses on who he’ll let out first?
4. Megan Woods – Minister of Energy and Resources. She certainly exudes energy when talking but is not very resourceful when it comes to saying anything meaningful.
5. Chris Hipkins – Minister for the Public Service. At the rate this Government is increasing it they’ll shortly have to introduce the rule they have in Quebec. There the public servants are not allowed to look out of the window in the morning as they’d have nothing to do in the afternoon.
6. Carmel Sepuloni – Minister for Social Development and Employment. The bonking bonanza continues. Sleepovers galore. Carmel’s not interested other than paying out taxpayers’ hard earned cash nine months after the event.
7. Andrew Little – Minister of Health. Hopefully that encompasses anger management.
8. David Parker – Minister for Oceans and Fisheries. One has to hope he has a better relationship with the water than the land, bearing in mind how far he got offside with the farmers. Oh wait, that was to do with water.
9. Nanaia Mahuta – Minister of Foreign Affairs. That is a hoot! Can you just picture it! I can’t see any affairs happening to the benefit of New Zealand, foreign or otherwise.
10. Poto Williams – Minister for Building and Construction. Poto certainly looks like she can swing a hammer but will she get anything constructed?
11. Damien O’Connor – Minister for Rural Communities. Hope for the best here. From memory he finds it a nuisance having to make the effort to meet with them. When he does he tends to bring a like it or lump it message.
12. Stuart Nash – Minister of Forestry. Another hope for the best here. Listening to him speaking you often get the impression he doesn’t know the wood from the trees.
13. Kris Faafoi – Minister for Broadcasting and Media. Won’t they be pleased. More of the filthy lucre on the way?
14. Peeni Henare – Minister of Whanau Ora. Unless he gets his people to address their problems themselves nothing will change. A million Whanau Oras on their own won’t do it.
15. Willie Jackson – Minister for Maori Development. The first thing he needs to do is develop a plan to get the nephews off the couch.
16. Jan Tinetti – Minister of Internal Affairs. Needs to make sure she doesn’t have any.
17. Michael Wood – Minister of Transport. Should ensure light rail happens. Will he route it past his house?
18. Kiri Allan – Minister of Emergency Management. Might be busier in house than around the country bearing in mind her leader’s lack of ability in the management area.
19. David Clark – Minister of Statistics. He might like to publish the number of times he broke the Covid rules.
20. Ayesha Verrall – Bottom of the list but looks the most capable of the lot.
A betting person would not waste much money on this lot achieving anything meaningful in the next three years.
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