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No wonder companies are struggling to get their employees to come back in the office – they’re too busy at home coming into their Kleenex. Forget nicking into the work dunnies to rub one out on your tea break, now it’s apparently a non-stop orgy of onanism for the laptop class.
Working from home – away from the prying eyes of colleagues – has fuelled a surge in porn addiction, experts have warned.
Some, like CNN contributor Jeffrey Toobin, didn’t even worry about prying eyes. Toobin famously whipped it out during a livestreamed Zoom call and, in front of his astounded colleagues and a watching world, started, in Keanu Reeve’s immortal words, “Slappin’ the salami… Apparently he’s goin’ for a world record.”
But it looks like Britain is a strong contender for the Ashes in Hand to Gland Combat.
The number of Britons seeking medical help for the issue has almost doubled during the pandemic, when remote working became widespread.
Remote working… Ok, some jokes are just too obvious, even for me.
Doctors say having temptation just a few clicks away has turned some casual porn watchers into addicts and worsened those who already had a problem.
The Laurel Centre in London, the largest sex and porn addiction clinic in Britain, says it is now treating some remote workers who watch up to 14 hours of porn a day.
Holy hell, people. Take a break for fluids and snacks, occasionally.
There were an estimated 1.7 million people who said that they work mainly from home in 2019, according to the Office for National Statistics (ONS), which this [sic] represents about five per cent of the total workforce.
This surged to almost half (46.6 per cent) in April 2020 during the first Covid lockdown, with about 13 million mainly working from home.
Which may explain why Kimberly-Clark, the makers of Kleenex, saw a sudden jump in their share price at around the same time.
While the share of people working predominantly from home has dropped since the peak of the pandemic, hybrid working has become a mainstay.
The most recent ONS data suggests 9.9 million people now mainly work from home.
But an estimated 91 per cent of London’s office workers were estimated to have worked from home during June’s rail strikes, a pattern believed to have been repeated during last week’s industrial action.
And, just like that, millions of office workers started shaking hands with the unemployed.
Porn addiction can be loosely defined as regularly spending more than two hours at a time looking at adult material, Dr Paula Hall said.
“If you’re regularly viewing pornography for longer than two hours it’s probably not about sexual arousal. It’s probably about escape,” she added.
Either that, or you’re real picky about your PornHub search results.
Well, we always did call them Pommy Wankers.
Dr Hall recently launched Pivotal Recovery, a series of podcasts to help people beat porn addiction more discreetly.
Daily Mail
If only Jeffrey Toobin had beaten it a bit more discreetly.
