The BFD | All NZ’s CO2 Reduction Efforts Negated by Single Event

Rod Carr, Head Logic Denier and author of the absurd Climate Change Commission report, seems to suggest that if we destroy everything that we love about New Zealand, we will be able to save about 1/1000th of a degree and thereby save us all from melting.

What this clown and his fellow eco-terrorists seemingly fail to realise, as normal people do, is that nothing we ever do will make the slightest bit of difference to world temperatures. In fact, I reckon that this one annual event in Arizona would probably nullify any gains that New Zealand could ever make.

Desert Storm Poker Run, Lake Havasu, Arizona. The BFD.

Lake Havasu is amazing. On a long skinny lake formed as a result of damming the river for power generation, (to power LA’s EVs?), thousands of revellers gather with their ridiculously powerful boats, massive trucks and RV’s, in order to take part in a charity ‘Poker Run’, much like motorcycle clubs do in New Zealand. The guts of it is that you motor at top speed from one spot to another (usually bars, floating in this case), picking up a playing card at each spot. The winner is the team with the best poker hand at the end.

In reality, the winner is the bloke with the biggest, loudest, fastest boat, although points will be deducted if there are no smoking hot, scantily clad women on board. Speaking of barely dressed women, it is illegal to go topless there so lots of the women wear tiny stick-on nipple pasties to get around the law, and as the day wears on, bikini tops seem to disappear and the girls all like to flaunt what God gave them, (or more likely what the surgeon did). To maintain decorum I shan’t post a picture but let’s not kid ourselves, we all know you blokes are now going to go and search ‘lake havasu women in pasties’!

Ideally the boat will be towed by a small semi-truck which will have the same livery and preferably have an off-roader and a Harley tucked in there too, (also wrapped in the same livery).

Remember, he who dies with the most toys wins. The BFD.

The boats there are unbelievable. Even the smallest boats have massive V8 engines, almost all of which run on methanol race gas which they obtain from the local gas stations at the pump; just like we get our 91 octane.

Of course, this is only one of the many events each year. Pretty much every holiday weekend has some sort of event on, with boats making a circuit under the ‘London Bridge’ to show off where all the boats park up to party.

Boats filled with spring break partygoers cruise on Lake Havasu. Photo: SoCali Lake Havasu Spring Break

I took my RV there a few years ago and stayed in a waterfront spot at a ‘camping resort’ where we could see the constant stream of powerboats screaming past us up the lake. This was just on a normal weekend with nothing special on but even then it was crazy. You don’t live in Lake Havasu unless you are OK with unmuffled high-revving boats being your daily sonic backdrop. It was awesome, and even at the exorbitant NZ$200 for a camping spot for one night, it was worth it simply for the hedonistic pleasure of watching rich people burn fuel and have fun.

Lake Havasu pleasure boats. Photo: ExPFC, The BFD.

Although, to be fair, a 28ft, 450 horsepower boat similar to these above can be had for as little as $40,000 USD secondhand. It is what I would have if I lived there! They are seriously fast and sound amazing, although not as good as the monster moored in the background.

So I think that the good folk of Lake Havasu have probably used up more carbons in one weekend than little ole NZ could save in a year. Ban BBQ’s and force everyone to drive a Prius? Yeah/nah, I’d be on the first plane to Arizona.