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Yvonne van Dongen
Veteran NZ journo incredulous gender ideology escaped the lab. Won’t rest until reality makes a comeback.
From Hero to Pride to Rainbow, you might think the branding of Auckland’s gay parade is symbolic of its evolution.
Starting with a hero’s journey against the odds when it began in 1992 to defiant ‘we’re here’ Pride from 2013–18 to the pretty rainbow of today. A symbol of happy happy joy joy.
Actually barring last year’s Destiny Church haka road block, past financial woes and a dose of divisive gay politics, that’s what it’s been for the most part. Party time.
Us straight folk are a little bored by it after all these years but that’s okay, it’s not for us. Though it does mean I struggle to persuade friends to join me on Ponsonby road for a meal beforehand and a dekko at the entertainment afterwards.
Fortunately I found one who had been living and working overseas most of her life and had never been to a gay parade. “You’ll love it,” I said.
The portents were good. Sunshine, no crushing crowds and straight away, a table outside. Also a great meal. Friendly punters albeit slightly too many laughing and shouting in the amped-up way of the well lubricated. But the drumming and clanging of the percussion orchestra that provided the pre-parade warm-up down the road soon drowned them out.
The street was already blocked with metal fences all the way down the 1.7 km long strip frustrating some punters who couldn’t get to the other side. Watching ungainly folk in fancy dress attempt to straddle this barrier provided us with entertainment until the parade began. I believe they call that schadenfreude. I call it fun.
The crowd looked to be made up of largely young women and gay men. With a smattering of old straight locals like myself.
Thankfully the parade started on time because hardly anything is worth staying up late for. Lots of banners, mostly announcing the group’s allegiances or mind-blowing sentiments like “Love is Love.” First the churches – Unitarian, Ponsonby Baptist Church, Auckland Rainbow Community Church, then the sports clubs, the scouts and political parties.
It’s always interesting to see who turns up. This year it was Labour, National and ACT clad in Brooke van Velden pink, though David Seymour sported a pale pink shirt. No NZ First and, unless I missed it, no Green float, although co-leader Chloe Swarbrick was photographed by the NZ Herald draped in a keffiyeh, hugging a participant.
Even more unexpected than the minimal Green presence was the reaction of the crowd to the Labour car cruising slowly down Ponsonby Rd followed by waving Labour supporters on foot. Boos. Loud, unmistakeable boos. No other political parties got the same treatment. What does this mean? I have no idea. I may have stumbled into a Labour-hating enclave. They may have been applauded further down the road.
Then the fireys, St John and the police. A rainbow police car, also uniformed police on foot, some handing out rainbow bracelets and flags, clearly enjoying this easy on-duty gig. Who would rain on their rainbow parade? Not me.
Until I saw senior sergeant Rhona Stace wandering along, hair in a pony-tail because how else would anyone know this man is a woman? Which brought back memories of Albert Park and how the police failed to protect women and instantly my generosity evaporated.
Now I was remembering Linzi Smith in the UK and thinking, damn, she was right. Linzi Smith is the gender critical lesbian who successfully challenged Northumbria Police’s participation in a Pride event. She argued that the force’s active involvement in the local Pride event breached their legal duty of impartiality.
Specifically, uniformed officers marched in the parade carrying Pride flags, a police van was decorated in Pride livery and stationed at the event, and the force showed support for transgender rights – actions Smith claimed aligned the police with a controversial political cause, making them unable to fairly handle disputes between gender-critical individuals like herself and trans rights supporters. Sound familiar?
Last year the High Court ruled in her favour, declaring the participation unlawful because it violated the police oath to act “without fear or favour” and maintain political neutrality.
As a result, the force agreed to remove all Pride rainbows, transgender colours, Progress flag designs, and other diversity-based symbols/livery from its police cars and vans. Uniformed officers can no longer hold flags, display symbols, or show support/opposition linked to the event.
Boy, we could do with a Linzi.
The treacherous police were followed by the Indian community, the Chinese community, craven corporates such as Fonterra, Fletchers and Dentons, swaggering drag queens, glittery drag king Hugo Grrl, the person who threw the tomato juice over Kellie-Jay Keen-Minshull, men in dog face masks (creepy but also funny), people decorated with colourful sausage balloons and other sundry dressed-up folk.
Notable: Less draggy shrieking through crackly loud hailers than I remember from past years. Also trans flags but no special trans float. My feeling is that the flag wavers just liked the pastel colours.
The gaps between the groups were getting longer and we might have left if not for people swooping in with shopping trolleys full of treats so like good girls we lined up and got ours.
“Well that was pretty tame,” said my friend as we walked home laden with muesli bars, sweets and chips from the local Countdown. “I thought the floats would be more spectacular. Really, they could have put in a bit more effort. Also I thought it would be more risque.”
“I suspect all the risque stuff happens afterwards,” I said.
“Like what?”
“Sex. Lots of it.”
“Yuck,” she said. And that was the end of the 2026 Auckland Rainbow Parade.
This article was originally published on the author’s Substack.
