Simon O’Connor
Husband, step-father, and longtime student of philosophy and history. Also happen to be a former politician, including chairing New Zealand's Foreign Affairs, Defense and Trade Committee.
Is stigma in society a good or a bad thing? If you are a progressive or leaning more towards the ‘woke’ side of things, you would say every stigma is bad – an imposition upon you by others. For the more moderate through to the conservative side of ethics, some stigmas are either a societal construction to guide behaviour or a consequence of our consciences – that is, an innate sense of right and wrong – and that we apply these stigmas accordingly.
Whether some stigmas are appropriate points to a much deeper question in society. Are we born perfect or are we flawed and in need of improvement? In our modern Western world we have two very different – and conflicting – perspectives on this.
All of this is on my mind due to a research project currently being undertaken at Victoria University. It has been well (un)covered by Bob McCoskrie in his Substack, and put very succinctly, the project appears to suggest that stigmatising paedophiles is inappropriate. The project’s premise is that stigma contributes to these people’s behaviours which immediately demonstrates how progressive thinkers seek to turn upside down the victim narrative. In this case, they are suggesting that society’s stigma is to blame for the actions and attractions of paedophiles. The victims are not the children, but these men (predominantly). And who is to blame? Well, society – you and me – for stigmatising them. As you might expect, the research seeks to both normalise this predilection, suggesting it is a sexuality like any other. They also try to euphemise language, calling paedophiles ‘Minor Attracted People’ or to obfuscate by using the acronym ‘MAP’. Finally, they make the outrageous suggestion that the only reason paedophilia is morally wrong is because it is illegal. Put another way, they imply that if society changed the law around all of this, then it would be deemed moral.
Bob McCoskrie
As you would anticipate, I think this is wrong on so many levels. The idea that law makes morality is absurd. If this were true, these academics and others would have to admit that the likes of slavery was OK when once legal in various jurisdictions. As I say, it’s an absurd position but worrying nevertheless when you consider what some activists in society are promoting.
Stepping back from this particular disturbing example, we can ask whether some stigmas are appropriate or not. Modern progressive thinking is that every person is born perfect. As Lady Gaga articulated it, “I was born this way”, with the explicit suggestion that whatever way this is – it is fine, perfect, immutable (unless the individual decides otherwise) and society must accept this without question. We see this most clearly playing out in the gender identity space.
What arises next however is the real kicker in terms of how society operates. For progressives who believe they are born perfect, then all and anything that goes wrong for them in life – or does not go according to their plan – is caused by others. Nothing internal to self can be the issue – it is always others, or circumstances from outside, that influence a person. If a person feels shame or experiences stigma, it is not due to any internal self-reflection, conscience or issue – but instead, a feeling imposed by others.
This is why progressives argue against stigmas. A stigma is an outside pressure into a ‘perfect’ person’s life. If I am born believing I am something special; that I have certain preferences and predilections; or want society to view me in a certain way – then there should be no stigma or shame. Where a stigma exists, it is an imposition by others onto me and how dare others try to shame me into being anything other than I want to be.
Shame, just like stigma, is therefore a bad thing. A person should feel neither shame or stigma for anything for they are perfect. For society to limit what I want is a discrimination. Consequently, I would argue, there is little room for growth and development. It is one of the reason we are seeing a growing infantilism in adults – I don’t need to change or learn from others in society, nor conform to accepted norms – I’m perfect.
It is also why we are seeing many people engaged in very destructive behaviours, including around the use of drugs and alcohol, as well as why many mental health interventions do not work for them. Instead of self-reflection on why they might be struggling and accepting that there might be actual problems in their life and choices, blame is instead only to be attributed from without – that is, from others in society. Their mental health issues are because of others, not them. Their drug problem is not a consequence of wrestling with their own internal demons and choices, but because society won’t accept them. They don’t need to change – society has too. In the modern progressive world, there is no personal responsibility but instead victimhood and the only blame is on everyone else for any problems in their perfect world.
I of course, have a very different view. We are all born flawed and it is through living life among others – learning from them, being challenged by them, inheriting traditional wisdom and lessons – that we grow and develop. C S Lewis in his book The Problem with Pain wrote:
You see, we are like blocks of stone out of which the Sculptor carves the forms of men. The blows of his chisel, which hurt us so much, are what make us perfect.
For Lewis, the sculptor was God, but for readers, I would suggest it doesn’t matter whether you believe in a deity or not. The key point is that the rub of daily life – the blows of the hammer – are what allow us to grow, to change, to ‘perfect’ and be fully human.
These blows include stigmas, moments of shame, self-reflection, bad choices, criticisms, challenges to our beliefs and so on. This is not to say that every blow we receive in life is good and right. We can all think of times where life has been cruelly unfair, where a stigma was false or unjust. But the overall point of Lewis’ quote is one in deep contrast to the progressive view of perfection. We are not born perfect, nor in a way that demands that every other person must conform their life around us. We are born flawed, in need of education and development, where we will experience stigma and shame when our choices don’t fit with societal wisdom – and among millions of others with competing views and beliefs, where interaction between each other, will bring both conflict and convergence, joy and pain.
Maybe I could sum it up this way. It is ok to change and be changed. This is actually the paradoxical heart of conservative ethics and philosophy. It is also the antithesis of modern progressivism which says that I, the individual, need not change but the world around me must. The former is humble, the latter is an arrogance.
This article was originally published on the author’s Substack.
