Is there some sort of instruction manual given away with new bicycles, titled “How to be an utter twat”? Whether it’s their entitled flouting of even the most elementary road laws, or the visual horror of dozens of flaccid, middle-aged arses wobbling like lycra-encased blancmange, these ‘road-maggots’ seem to be in a race with vegans to claim the title of “world’s biggest dickheads”.
A cyclist’s complaints about a swooping magpie have resulted in the bird being shot by the council, outraging magpie lovers at the beginning of a contentious Spring “swooping” season.
The cyclist, who said she was attacked a few weeks ago while riding near Old Windsor Rd in Bella Vista in northwest Sydney, complained to the Hills District Council.
Good work, Karen. Now you can cycle in safety to your vegan cafe and demand to see the manager, safe in the knowledge that local wildlife won’t be getting in your oh-so-important way.
Posting to a local cyclist Facebook group, the woman said she’d received a notice that the bird had been “removed”, just weeks after she’d notified them of the attack.
“I have just received an email advising that the magpie has now been removed, so hopefully that area will now be safe :),” the woman wrote on Facebook.
By “removed”, of course, they mean “killed”. Sure, Karen the Cyclist probably didn’t realise that the council were going to shoot the bird, but, really – what did she think was going to happen? Even if, as she probably thought, they were going to trap and “relocate” it, again…how did she think that was going to end?
Just do what generations of Australians have done: harden up and deal with it.
The cyclist’s post from a private Facebook group was shared by Magpie Alert, a social website with over 4000 Facebook fans, that tracks magpie attacks around Australia.
“I am so angry right now that I wont even comment,” a woman said, sharing the post to a magpie lover’s group on Facebook.
“Is it too hard for people to take another route for a few weeks,” another magpie lover asked…
“I have ridden a bike daily for nearly 50 years and been swooped tons of times — would never think any one of these intelligent and protective animals should be shot!” another man commented on the post.
“What a horror show. Just take another route. Are we going to shoot every native animal that causes inconvenience?”
news.com.au/national/nsw-act/news/nesting-magpie-shot-by-council-after-cyclist-complains-of-being-swooped
After all, every time some poor grommet is chomped into burley by a great white, the reflex response is that sharks have a right to be in their habitat. So, why not magpies?
Every Australian, ever, has been swooped by these black-and-white bastards. And they’re light-weights compared to the flying psychos that are plovers. Not only are those mongrels actually armed with spurs on their wings, but their favourite nesting sites are on open grassland. Which means that, right now, Tasmania’s parks and footy ovals are a minefield of winged screaming murder. If we can live with that, some middle-class Sydney suburbanite can choose another route to get their almond latte fix, for a couple of weeks.
Besides, not only is magpie carolling one of the most soothing sounds in Australia, the birds seem to have uncommonly good instincts:
Magpies seem to get particularly infuriated by bicycles: nearly half of those attacked were riding a bike at the time.
abc.net.au/science/
I’ve always liked magpies.
