Information Satire CNN Correspondent: The FBI has released a photograph of the suspected pipe bong insurrectionist. He/she/it who was was part of the rabble led by Donald Trump, who, wearing horns, dressed in animal skins and armed with a lethal flag, stormed the capital. The suspect was captured
Information Satire As part of the headlong rush by media to accommodate Maori in their publications/outlets The Woke Examiner has decided to join in the melee and publish a set of News Briefs. Recently, I revealed that my assistant cub reporter had decided to self identify as a woman.
Information Satire Speaking from the throne in her Facebook bunker, the Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, today, announced a Great Reset in her thinking. “As officially one of the world’s great thinkers of our time, I have come to the conclusion that diversity must be applied not just to the
Information Satire The Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern today declared a Credibility Emergency saying that the public’s belief in her to solve not only Aotearoa’s problems but the worlds was in severe danger. In a Tik Tok video to the nation she said, “I am taking immediate action – otherwise
Information Satire During a heartfelt tearful apology, the owner of Stuff Ltd confirmed that historically, the news organisation was full of systemic lies, exaggerations and unmitigated nonsense. “We have been lying and smearing for centuries,” she said. Sinead Boucher also used the apology to announce she was returning her media
Information Satire The Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern today dismissed concerns raised by experts at Auckland University about the coming obesity epidemic. “They are jus fear-mongering,” she said. “I have the siduashin compledely under condrol”. Auckland University computer modelling showing the first man and Jacinda Ardern in six months time if
Information Satire In an exclusive interview with The Woke Examiner’s assistant cub reporter, the Prime Minter Jacinda Ardern, revealed that Aotearoa’s borders have been permanently closed till after “The Great Reset”. In a hushed conspiratorial tone she explained the virus is very tricky. Apparently, it has been sneaking
Information Satire Kamal Harris was declared President for life after Joe Biden ‘resigned’ in embarrassment. He had wandered out onto a huge outdoor stage in front of the White House to address the world’s press, trouserless, saying, “Where am I? Look at my hairy legs” and then sniffed the
Information Satire Yesterday, our assistant cub reporter retrieved a flash drive from a skip overflowing with filled disposable nappies. The skip had been parked outside Premier House for months. The Woke Examiner is now in possession of a trove of emails – allegedly hacked – thought to belong to an international super-star-investigative-journalist.
Information Satire In a shocking development, a briefcase containing an old copy of Playboy and a mince pie was ‘discarded’ metres from the offices of The Woke Examiner. Our assistant cub reporter, the finder of the briefcase, was scoffing the pie and thumbing eagerly through the vintage Playboy when he
Information Satire The Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern Announced today that Aotearoa will become a republic. She will be relinquishing the role of Prime Minister immediately to become the country’s first President. It will involve a major re-hash of our system of government as she will hold executive powers. President
Information Satire The Prime Minister in a speech to the party faithful laid out her intentions for the government after the election. Rather than try to put in place my aspirations, she said they would stick to their tried and true modus operandi and return the government to the laughing
Information Satire A document leaked to The Woke Examiner lays out a combined Labour’/Green plan to fully implement The Treaty partnership as laid out by Justice Robin Cooke in 1987. Treaty Minister Andrew Little intends to fully implement the principles of The Treaty. The BFD. Photoshopped image credit HangonaMin
Information Satire It is said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but a giant US cartoon media company wants Jacinda Ardern to either admit to copying and give credit where credit is due or cease and desist. Ardern has completely ripped off SpongeBob SquarePants. The BFD. Photoshopped image
Information Satire The Minister for Treaty Negotiations, Andrew Little, has settled the long-running and fractious dispute created by Helen Clark and Margaret Wilson. He has agreed that Maori have full and final ownership of all foreshore and seabed – making it law under a state of emergency. Maori seabed claims. Image
Information Satire The Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, speaking from her podium of truth, announced today that she has decided that herd community is the path Aotearoa will follow rather than the bothersome and problematic herd immunity. The One-Team-Game, 10,000 pixels to be compulsory throughout Aotearoa. The BFD. Photoshopped image
