Before I even read the article on Newshub about why dog owners are likely to live longer, I came up with my own theory. (Disclaimer: I am a dog lover and hate cats due to a traumatic incident in childhood). Do you want to know all about it? Okay then since you asked this is what happened…
We owned a blue-eyed Siamese cat called … wait for it… Blue Eyes. Well, old Blue Eyes committed the perfect crime. He sliced up my Mum and Dad’s blanket on their bed and then slunk off leaving four year old me to be accused of cutting up the blanket with scissors! He almost got away with it too as my Mum would not accept my howls of innocence. It wasn’t until I had calmed down and put my autistic little brain to work that I was able to prove to my Mum that I was innocent.
Doing my best lawyer impression I paced the bedroom. “So,” I said seriously, “I am accused of cutting up the blanket with scissors. Where are these scissors that you say I committed the crime with?” My Mum said, “I left them up on top of the cupboard.” “Aha! I said, “so you admit that they were left at the top of the cupboard. I have two questions for you now. Number one are they still there?” Mum went to look and came back looking puzzled but insisting that I must have put them back after doing the dastardly deed. It was then that I knew that I had her. ” Hmm,” I said, “so you are saying that I went to the cupboard, removed the scissors, cut up the blanket and then put them back is that correct?” Mum nodded yes but I could see that she was starting to see the problem with her logic.
I raised myself up onto my tippy toes and stretched up as high as I could. “How did I reach the scissors Mum?” I asked. At that point Mum realised that even if I had dragged furniture to stand on that there was no way that I could have reached the scissors. I was finally in the clear and Mum from that day onwards started resenting “That bloody cat!” I on the other hand after being framed by one have from that day onwards only had room in my heart for dogs.
Anyway back now to why dog owners live longer. Well, to start with dogs aren’t likely to frame innocent little girls for their own misdeeds. Dogs won’t hide the evidence and do it in secret like a bloody cat. They’re usually found right in the middle of the chaos they’ve created with a guilty look on their faces.
Dogs are simply too stupid to lie, unlike cats who are the masters of manipulation.
Another reason why I think dogs help you live longer is that they are loyal animals who will literally give their lives to protect you. Cats, on the other hand, will happily sit on your newborn babies face just because they want a warm place to sit.
Well, that’s my theory so what does the article say?
New research shows that dog ownership may be associated with longer life and better heart health, especially for heart attack and stroke survivors who live alone.
The study, published in Circulation: Cardiovascular Quality and Outcomes, a journal of the American Heart Association, found owning a dog is associated with a 24 percent reduced risk of all-cause mortality and a 31 percent lower risk of death by heart attack or stroke compared to non-owners.
[…] It’s believed our four-legged friends help our health by increasing our physical activity and decreasing our rates of depression and loneliness.
“Having a dog was associated with increased physical exercise, lower blood pressure levels and better cholesterol profile in previous reports,” said Caroline Kramer, Assistant Professor of Medicine at the University of Toronto.
Newshub
Well, that makes sense. Cats like to lounge about at home and while you can take a dog for a walk you can only take a cat for a drag.
