Skip to content
grayscale photo of people racing bikes
Photo by Simon Connellan. The BFD.

Sir Bob Jones
nopunchespulled.com

Recently the Guardian Weekly ran a feature on the weird phenomenon of bicycles being tossed into canals, rivers, lakes and so on. It’s literally world-wide behaviour and the article cited examples from everywhere. I’ve certainly noticed this over the years in Sydney’s Rose Bay.

What the article didn’t and couldn’t explain is why? The mind boggles at the possibilities.

Are bicycle manufacturers paying people to steal bikes and hurl them into the drink? That certainly makes sense if their owners then purchase another.

The same rationale could apply to a host of commercial activities which have a financial interest in wiping out bikes. Car manufacturers, gymnasiums and Weight Watchers for example, spring to mind.

On face value the fashion industry is a likely culprit as cyclists only need one skimpy outfit whereas whether in a car, public transport or walking, females require a sizeable wardrobe. That said I doubt the fashion purveyors are behind this as they tend to be scatterbrains and would be incapable of organising such an exercise.

Other possible explanations is this is being done by aliens as a prelude to an invasion, they testing the water as to human tolerance.

Yet another is it’s an organised effort by a secret global religious sect and stealing someone’s bike and hurling it into the drink is a membership pre-requisite initiation ritual. Given the nonsense rituals religion is bound up with, that seems perfectly reasonable.

Whatever the explanation this behaviour offers Massey University a splendid opportunity to pioneer another bogus discipline to go with their current rich array of nonsense degree courses.


BUY Your Own Copy of Sir Bob’s Latest Book Today.

Latest