Rosemary Abbott
NO DEAL
Coalition talks to form the next New Zealand Government have ground to a screeching halt after Winston Peters, the leader of the New Zealand First Party, made a stunning revelation to Prime Minister-elect Christopher Luxon.
Peters, known for his affinity for straight talk and no-nonsense politics, dropped a bombshell that sent shockwaves through Luxon’s National Party office – he doesn’t drink Wakachangi lager.
Luxon’s National Party, closely aligned with the ACT Party, had been counting on Peters and his New Zealand First Party to form a government. The negotiations had been progressing, albeit with a fair share of political wrangling and compromise, as is customary in coalition talks. However, the entire house of cards came crashing down when Peters dared to defy the sacred elixir of Wakachangi beer.
“It’s a beer I haven’t drunk and I won’t be bullied into drinking Wakachangi,” Peters declared.
Luxon, visibly flustered by the fact Peters doesn’t drink the popular beer, attempted to salvage the situation.
“Let’s focus on the greater good of our coalition. We need you to form a strong government. How about you try a case? It’s quite nice beer,” said Luxon, holding out a case of Wakachangi lager to Peters.
“I’m sorry, but I have principles, Christopher,” Peters said in classic style as if he was telling Luxon off.
“Winston, it’s more than just beer. It’s about unity, loyalty, and a deep appreciation for Kiwi culture. If you can’t share a Wakachangi with your fellow New Zealanders, then unfortunately we can’t govern this great country together.”
