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Frederick Forsyth, a writer and author whose name you may be familiar with, writes a weekly opinion piece in the Express newspaper. The Express is available here in a weekly edition and there’s more reading in that than there is in a week’s worth of a local rag. A recent article was headed – Don’t snatch defeat from Brexit victory. In it, he talks about the voting options on offer in terms of parties and their leaders. It is both humorous and sobering.

He first takes on Labour describing that as “a vote for Moscow about 50 years ago, the days of Yuri Andropov, now reincarnated as Jeremy Corbyn. If you want an economically destroyed country, that’s your vote. Guaranteed ruin.” Or, he says, “vote for the vassalage government under the rule of Brussels in perpetuity. Beck and call of people we didn’t elect and cannot pronounce. It’s called the Lib Dem Party now. Neither liberal or democratic but never mind. Commanded by the just arrived Jo Swinson. One hesitates to be ungallant, but thick as a plank is a tribute.”

CLASSIC! I wonder if she’s ever tried wrapping fish and chips! Frederick further describes her as an otherwise nice lady who is kind to beggars, which we all soon will be if she or Jezza get to take over.

He continues.

There’s only one left. You can vote for Britain, the place that bore and raised us. Not perfect but on balance not half bad either. Now synthesised as the Conservative Party and headed by a jolly fellow with a blond mop where most of us have tufts of hair. He goes on. But there is a buzzing fly in the unction. A bit of a wide boy called Nigel. Runs a one man one issue outfit whose pointless interference could hand us over to nut cases A and B aforementioned. So some national hero needs to give the wide boy a large bung, a busty blonde, and a villa in Cyprus; and persuade his cohorts to  return to the party they abandoned for a dream of perfection – in other words a return to reality.

Forsyth is always an enjoyable read. Will the election be an enjoyable watch?

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