Who ever said the Germans don’t have a sense of humour? After all, this was the nation that made a Charlie Chaplin lookalike their leader. The land where this is an actual joke: Two guys are walking over a bridge. One falls in the water, the other is called Helmut.
Please. My sides.
No wonder Mark Twain said a German joke is no laughing matter.
As if to further prove that Germans are utterly lacking in humour, German police are furiously trying to hunt down a social media user who mocked a morbidly obese, ‘openly bisexual’, German politician, Ricarda Lang. The posts in question seem to have disappeared, but apparently one featured a picture of a black man rooting an obese white woman and a caption along the lines of ‘Lang taking care of asylum seekers personally’. (Lang, it will surprise no one, is a Greens politician who supports admitting ‘climate refugees’ to Germany.)
Enter der rözzers.
The CEO of the social media platform Gab revealed that the company refused to comply with a request from German police to provide data on a user who made two posts mocking the weight of a female member of parliament. Gab CEO Andrew Torba shared the request on X that demanded information about the user because he had made two posts that “sexualized the German politician” Ricarda Lang and “denigrated her weight.”
The official demand stated, “Throughout the sexualized and denigrated representation of ‘Ricarda Lang,’ the user attacks the honour of the politician and shows his own disrespect.”
Because, as we all know, zere vill be no dizrespecting der kleine fuhrers, in Germany.
Torba, however, dismissed this demand from German police. In his post, he called the demand “one of the more ridiculous foreign data requests that Gab received.” He also clarified that the company had “turned down” the request for the user’s information.
“Ridiculous”? How dare he! What’s ridiculous, after all, about such crafty Teutonic sleuthing as this?
“The posts are written in German and the user speaks German. Thus, we suspect that the user currently lives in Germany,” wrote the Bundeskriminalamt (the German federal police).
No scheisse, Herr Sherlöck!
According to ze Germans, two posts sexualized Ricarda Lang, denigrated her weight, attacked the “honor of the politician” and disrespected her in violation of “section 185 of the German criminal code.”
Section 185 of the German criminal code naturally follows section 184, which outlaws comedy, and just before the less controversial section 186 that outlaws Jews.
And no such Orwellian demand by the Thought Police would be complete without such tortured sentences as this?
“With this insult the user publicly insults a person in the political life on the grounds of the insulted person’s position in the public life.”
Well… who could argue with that?
It’s all very odd, though. These fatty-karatty feminist landwhales proclaim their belief in ‘body positivity’ (which in practice, amounts, it seems, to fat chicks rolling around, bellowing, “Yaaaassss, kweeen!” at each other), yet get all hurtsy if ever anyone else dare notice that, yes, they’re fat. Really fat.
Hey, I can say that. I’ve got the fatty’s equivalent of the ‘n-word pass’. According The Good Oil’s own Olivia Pierson, I am, ahem, ‘a prime slab of Aussie beef’. Which is a polite way of saying ‘fat’. Hey, I sit on my arse all day, trying to think of ways to amuse and hopefully inform our legion of ‘far-right extremists’.
So, yeah, I’m a bit of a porker. I’ll own that, unlike the permanently offended land-whales of ‘Fat Studies’ – a discipline that apparently requires never looking in a mirror.
And if any of you dare say anything, I’ll lodge a complaint with NZ’s very own Thought Police and have Kate Hannah and Byron Clarke sit on you until you repent.
