From the Desk of a Male, Pale and Stale

A lot of palaver has been recently generated regarding the sinking of the HMNZS Manawanui and not all of it is very productive.

I decided we should get something for our NZD 100 million dollars and that that thing should be NZ’s first and possibly a world’s first:

Quattuordecuple (14-tuple) entendre: (adjective): Describing something that consists of or is composed of 14 distinct parts, layers or elements; often used in literary and rhetorical contexts to indicate a multifaceted or complex nature with multiple interpretations or meanings. (It’s like a double or triple entendre but on steroids.)

The sentence is:

• Believers in the maxim ‘women drivers, no survivors’ bided their time until the HMNZS Manawanui, under the command of a British-born wahine during the operational phases of ‘Running Deep’, ‘Pacific Connection’ and ‘Wahine Toa’, met its fate by running aground on a reef, as if patience was all it took.

And this is where the fun starts:

1. Believers in the maxim ‘women drivers, no survivors’

• Stereotype Reference:
  The phrase invokes the sexist trope that women are incompetent drivers, extending it to leadership and navigation. This reinforces the belief that the failure was inevitable.
• Cultural Criticism:
  The choice of ‘maxim’ elevates the stereotype into a broader societal belief, implying that the sentiment isn’t just personal bias but ingrained in collective thinking.

2. Bided their time

• Anticipation of Failure:
  This phrase highlights quiet, patient expectation, implying detractors were just waiting for the commander to make a mistake.
• Irony:
  Their patience mirrors the ship's name, Manawanui (which means patience), deepening the irony. This adds a subtle joke – it's as if both the ship and its critics were destined to demonstrate patience.

3. HMNZS Manawanui

• Symbolic Naming:
  The ship’s name, Manawanui (patience), becomes ironic as it ultimately meets disaster. Critics’ patience and the ship’s namesake converge in a moment of failure, adding symbolic depth.
• Royal Endorsement:
  The HMNZ (His Majesty’s New Zealand Ship) reflects the royal endorsement of the vessel, making the failure ironic – despite the ship being held to high standards, it still ran aground.

4. Under the command of a British-born wahine

• Cultural Juxtaposition:
  The phrase contrasts British-born with wahine (the Māori word for woman), highlighting the duality of identity in a post-colonial setting. This reflects both cultural diversity and tensions between colonial legacy and Māori identity.
• Colonial Criticism:
  The commander’s British heritage adds an additional ironic layer, subtly questioning whether colonial or indigenous leadership expectations were at play in the ship’s failure.

5. During the operational phases of ‘Running Deep’, ‘Pacific Connection’ and ‘Wahine Toa’

• Diversity Initiatives and Inclusion:
  The programs reflect an effort to promote diversity, inclusion, and Māori participation in the military. Mentioning these initiatives adds irony, as the ship’s failure could be interpreted as undermining the very ideals they aimed to advance.
• Operational Complexity:
  Referring to phases implies that these initiatives were ongoing and that operational challenges were part of the process – adding a layer of commentary on whether diversity efforts were struggling against entrenched biases.
• Pun with ‘Running Deep’:
  The name suggests both literal depth (referring to the ship’s draft) and figurative depth (symbolising the complexities of leadership and inclusion). The grounding incident reinforces the irony of running ‘too deep’.

6. Met its fate by running aground on a reef

• Fatalistic Irony:
  The phrase met its fate introduces the idea of inevitability, implying that the incident was somehow destined to happen – reflecting both the critics’ expectations and the tragic irony of the ship’s failure.
• Geographic Irony:
  Running aground in Samoa adds a regional layer to the irony – this was supposed to be a Pacific-focused initiative, and yet it ended in a Pacific failure.
• Literal and Figurative Depth:
  The incident of hitting a reef can be read literally (as a navigational error) and figuratively (as a failure to navigate the challenges of leadership and inclusion).

7. As if patience was all it took

• Wordplay on the Ship’s Name:
  The phrase ties back to the ship’s name, Manawanui, implying that both the ship and its critics were patiently waiting for disaster. The implication that ‘patience’ caused the outcome introduces ironic humour.
• Commentary on Passive Criticism:
  The line suggests that simply waiting for someone to fail can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy, adding a subtle critique of detractors’ passive stance.

8. Survival Undermining the Stereotype

• Refutation of the Criticism:
  Although the critics anticipated failure, the fact that everyone survived undermines the sexist stereotype – showing that their expectations, despite being fulfilled to some extent, were still fundamentally flawed.

9. Meta-layer: Claiming 14-Tuple Entendre

• Self-Aware Complexity:
  The claim that the sentence functions as a Quattuordecuple (14-tuple) entendre adds a playful, self-referential layer. The sentence itself becomes part of the wordplay by highlighting how many layers of meaning can be packed into one statement.

Summary of the 14 Layers (Quattuordecuple Entendre)

1. Stereotype Reference: “Women drivers, no survivors” reinforces gender bias.
2. Cultural Criticism: “Maxim” suggests the belief is societal.
3. Anticipation of Failure: “Bided their time” reflects detractors’ expectation.
4. Irony in Patience: Critics and the ship’s name reflect patience.
5. Symbolic Naming: Manawanui (patience) is ironic given the outcome.
6. Royal Endorsement Irony: HMNZS suggests a standard of excellence unmet.
7. Cultural Juxtaposition: British-born wahine reflects complex identities.
8. Colonial Criticism: Implies tension between colonial and indigenous expectations.
9. Diversity Efforts Undermined: The incident contradicts inclusion goals.
10. Pun with “Running Deep”: Refers to both ship’s draft and operational depth.
11. Fatalistic Irony: “Met its fate” suggests inevitable failure.
12. Geographic Irony: Failure occurs in Samoa: a target of the programme.
13. Patience Commentary: Critics’ passive stance mirrors the ship’s name.
14. Survival Refutes Bias: Everyone surviving undermines the stereotype.

And there we have it! Value for money without that sinking feeling. Off to the Guinness Book of Records!