Sir Bob Jones
nopunchespulled.com
Wellington commercial real estate agent Chris Gollins certainly secures some interesting properties to sell.
Currently he’s advertising a strata floor for sale in a multi-level Lower Hutt office building “as is, where is”. The “where is” clearly implies a capability to shift it elsewhere, an exercise which would certainly be a wonderful spectacle if undertaken.
I’ve written for years about the practice of commercial property agents talking cock. For example orthodox industrial buildings being described as “hard working” or for no reason, “high tech”. Rental areas are nowaday “footprints” which in fact they’re not. The latest vogue is for standard storage industrial buildings to be described as “logistic” centres.
But this practice of clouding plain, fit-for-purpose language with waffle extends into every activity.
Yesteryear’s staff clerk is now “Manager – Human Resources”. This clumsy back to front vogue is now rife in both the government and commercial sectors wherein often minor management job descriptions are stretched out ungrammatically.
It’s time lesser roles joined in. Bus drivers can become Human Transport Linkage Executives, stop-go sign holders, Overseers – Vehicle Management Safety Executives and so on.
One that particularly irks me is the unnecessary introduction of the word “solutions” into mainly tradesmen’s company names. Joe Blow Plumber Ltd is now Joe Blow Plumbing Solutions Ltd, a sure give-away of dealing with a halfwit. So too a half page advertisement by commercial real estate agency CBRE in The Herald a week back.
It’s flogging a conventional supermarket building but half of the space is given over to this message, “Award Winning Real Estate Solutions.” This is sheer gibberish, compounded by “award winning” this a pre-fix to virtually everything in New Zealand. I’d stay well clear of it.
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