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Hey Kelvin, it’s Queenstown Calling, They Say They Miss You.

Minister of Corrections Kelvin Davis

We hear a lot about the abysmal standards of the legacy media. One sided opinion articles pretending to be factual commentaries abound. Silly little so-called ‘journalists’, whining about how racist their last latte was or manufacturing angst about imaginary slights; all designed to rark up the offenderatti and generate clicks. It’s no wonder that the traditional daily papers are going under.

But there are a couple of papers out there that seem to be bucking the trend, at least content-wise. Not daily papers mind, but weekly. The Mountain Scene, which is available online at scene.co.nz but also available each Thursday as a traditional fire starting medium, is brilliant. Sure they are probably struggling for advertising just like all newspapers but as a local rag, the affectionately known ‘Mountain Scream’, certainly punches above its weight at times.

The Mountain Scene has a new editor, Tracey Roxburgh. Tracey is a young female whose opinions some might cast aside due to her being ‘youth adjacent’ and all. But Tracey has been around a long time and she has worked her way up from junior scribe to editor, a feat that is pretty admirable in one so young. Sure, she has to sometimes write fluff about the local cat lady etc, but she is a huge step above some of the other hacks running much bigger and more influential newspapers around the country.

What I like most about the Mountain Scene (and Tracey in particular) is that they are not afraid to say it how it is. Take last Thursday’s ‘Parting Shot’ article for instance. Trust me, it is well worth a click to read the full story. You can find it here: Dear Minister, where the hell have you been?

Tracey has her finger on the pulse when it comes to the Queenstown Lakes area. If she is giving a serious tongue lashing to a Minister of the Crown, you better believe he deserves it. Kelvin Davis should read this and take note.

Dear Kelvin, I know you’re busy and all, but I just had one quick question for you. Where, exactly, have you been? Or, perhaps, more to the point, as Minister of Tourism, what – aside from tasking Tourism New Zealand to come up with a domestic marketing campaign – have you been doing to support NZ’s tourism industry?
Photoshopoed image credit: ExPFC, The BFD.

Tracey goes on to slate Kelvin Davis for being the hopeless git that we all know him to be. It is clear for all to read that Davis has been letting the side down terribly.

Some weeks ago you were asked about the tourism industry, the worst affected of any in our fine country, and plans to support it. Your answer was, basically, “there are a lot of industries struggling at the moment”. Yes, Kelvin, there are. But, good sir, you are the TOURISM MINISTER. So, to my mind – and I appreciate I’m not as smart as you are, nor a government minister being paid nigh on $300k a year before that pesky pay cut you had to take – you kind of have a responsibility to put us first, no?

Hmmm, was there ever an actual pay cut Tracey? In any case don’t go putting yourself down like that. Oh wait a minute, was that the dying art of sarcasm? You don’t see that much any more in the Main Scream Media. Let’s not put a ‘sarc’ next to that bit and see if Big Kel gets it.

Tracey goes on to chat about the $400 million that was allocated to tourism in the latest budget.

But other than that TNZ marketing campaign, what’s it  [the $400m] for, Kelvin? Again, I do apologise, but it just seems, well, a bit shit really that you, given your portfolio, can’t seem to answer that question. The inside word is there’ll be priority for “historic” or “iconic” businesses.

Oh great, historic or iconic businesses. Read that as the Earnslaw boat trip and anything owned by Ngai Tahu. I wonder how much extra, tax-free charity run Shotover Jet will gouge this time? I mean, if they ever bother starting up again.

I really don’t want to be mean, I’m sure you’re a wonderful man doing the best you can in these trying times. But, Kelvin, in three years you’ve visited Queenstown thrice. Out of interest, have you called our mayor, Jim Boult, lately to see how things are here? Yeah. Didn’t think so. Mind you, I understand your boss hasn’t either. That aside, three visits in three years (though that’s two more than your fine leader) is, well, underwhelming considering what the mighty Wakatipu has done for the portfolio you have.

Funny though, I recall that nice Mr Key visiting Queenstown at every opportunity when he was Minister for Tourism. At least Ms Ardern and family have a set of personalised matching lifejackets for when, or should I say if she ever gets down here again.

And here’s one for Lil Clarkie.
But you’ve launched a domestic marketing campaign. Yay, you. Kelvin, to my initial point, what the actual are you doing? Where’s the leadership and support from you? It’s all very well trotting out your “reimagining tourism”, whatever that means, but we’re still bloody waiting for you to DO SOMETHING. This, Kelvin, is your job. There are thousands of people in our community who were doing theirs, extremely well, until two months ago. Now they have no income and no idea when, or from where, they’ll get their next pay cheque. Some of them will lose their homes, Kelvin. And, with the utmost of respect, sir, you look like you’re asleep at the wheel of the tourism industry.

Well you tell em Tracey. I love that we still have newspaper editors in this country that are prepared to stick it to the man. We all know that Kelvin Davis, the man who once famously said that every job he had ever obtained was because he could speak Te Reo, is a complete waste of space.

And to think that someone so incompetent is also Deputy Leader of the Labour Party and second in charge to the leader, well what can you say? God help us if they get a second term and “the Princess” Jacinda Ardern gets up the duff again!

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