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Anything You Can Promise I Can Promise Better

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Dear Editor

Following on from Labour’s various promises about what they are going to do if re-elected – harbour tunnels and airport rail, family allowance increases and GST cuts, etc. etc. I have it on good authority that the other parties are gearing up to make their own announcements.

National are going to promise if they are elected Kiwis will be landing on the moon by 2030. Act will say this isn’t aspirational enough and if they get in we’ll be going to Mars at least. Winston Peters will confirm NZ First accepts that but promises there will be no seat allocation based on any kind of discrimination, except for the 25 per cent reserved for pensioners.

Meanwhile, the Greens, claiming it’s madness for the planet if we go anywhere other than back to the 19th century, will promise to do exactly that. Finally, Te Pati Maori are expected to promise their support for the Greens, provided that we aim to land sometime before February 6, 1840.

Ah, election promises, don’t you just love ‘em?

Disgruntled of Napier

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