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Dear Editor
JC has replied to me! I suppose I should be honoured. I still think he is Judith Collins in disguise, and I’m sure she should be spending time crushing cars or verbally beating up our beloved Prime Minister on Leaders Debates, but she has found time to reply! I must have struck a nerve. Obviously, she is worried.
Speaking of those Leaders Debates – what a disgrace. Jacinda won both of them emphatically. There are people out there trying to claim that she didn’t. They are totally and absolutely wrong. Everyone knows what a wonderful communicator Jacinda is. OK, so Judith did get in the odd smart quip – like her comment about miracles and allowing people to decide when they eat meat. How dare she! If Jacinda decided we shouldn’t eat meat on Mondays, then we won’t eat meat on Mondays. Did you see what she did there? She created a slogan. Meat Free Mondays! Judith Collins could never compete with that. Jacinda is a genius.
Didn’t Jacinda look nice on the debates, particularly the first one? Lovely hair, fabulous spray tan and make-up. She looked like a model! After all, she has made it onto the cover of Vogue, unlike other politicians. If that doesn’t speak for her value as a leader, then I don’t know what does.
Stop going on about Kiwibuild. They have built 583 houses. What do you want? 16,000 in 3 years? That was never going to happen, and Jacinda has now made that clear. Stop going on about electric vehicles. Jacinda has an electric vehicle, so she is leading by example. 1 billion trees? Who said they were going to do that? That was nothing to do with Jacinda; that was NZ First, who will no longer be in parliament after the election because they have been mean to Jacinda. As for child poverty, Jacinda is the minister for child poverty and she is doing a wonderful job. There are now more children in poverty than there have ever been. See? She is successful at everything she touches. She really is a hero.
Jacinda is top of the list to be awarded a Nobel Peace Prize. Her donning a hijab and hugging every Muslim woman in sight is going to reap great rewards for our country. This is so much bigger an achievement than Donald Trump delivering peace in the Middle East by bringing Arab nations to the table in recognizing Israel. I don’t know how anyone can think Trump’s efforts are worthy by comparison. You don’t see him hugging Muslim women, do you?
Speaking of Donald Trump, I watched part of his debate with Joe Biden and he interrupted at least 70 times! Well, that is nothing compared to the number of times Judith Collins interrupted Jacinda. It must have been hundreds! Jacinda would never do that, of course. She is too kind, too precious and too polite to consider doing such a thing. At least JC agrees with me that Jacinda is precious. I think I am getting him to see things from my point of view.
Economically, there is no comparison either. National made a $4 billion error in their economic plan. Labour made an error of $14 billion, but that is quite different. Labour’s mistake was just a typo. Nothing more. You must remember that Labour has the enormous resources of Treasury at their beck and call, whereas the opposition has very slim pickings by comparison, so the $14 billion mistake cannot have been a real mistake. No. I’m surprised they bothered to mention it at all. Nothing to see here.
You see, JC, your problem is that you rely on facts. You take the promises that politicians make, and then ask why they have not delivered. But you can’t treat Jacinda like that. Jacinda is different. She doesn’t rely on delivery of promises. She has so much star power that she has no need to do that. People just love Jacinda. They don’t care whether she delivers or not. They will vote for her anyway because they adore her. And that, JC, is something that Judith Collins will never have. Judith Collins is going to rely on people believing her to get their votes, but that belongs to a time that has passed. The world is different now, and Judith hasn’t seen that yet.
We all call Jacinda by her first name. We don’t do that to Judith Collins. Jacinda is in our hearts, like a much loved sister. No one else has ever achieved such a quality.
I appreciate your reply, JC, but you are totally wrong. Jacinda is a hero. David Attenborough endorses her. Whoopi Goldberg endorses her. So does Oprah Winfrey. She is friends with Hillary Clinton. Meghan Markle thinks she is the kind of leader all countries should have. You can’t argue with these people. They are all millionaires, all people who spend an enormous amount of time telling us all to be kind and to look out for one another. Some have even taken refugees into their homes… well, they said they were going to, so they must have. Jacinda is part of the most elite club in the world and is leading by example. These people tell us what to do and how to think and we should be forever grateful that they do. So you can forget about facts, JC. Who needs facts when there is so much fairy dust to spread around?
Stu P.D. Lefthard
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