Gillette, Dick’s Sporting Goods, ESPN, the NFL, Electronic Arts, Marvel Comics…there is apparently no end of companies all-too-ready to get woke and go broke. EA’s iconic Battlefield franchise tanked when the company shoe-horned SJW “stronk wahmen” characters into a WWII historical game. Marvel Comics have plummeted in sales in lock-step with the company’s force-feeding of woke storylines, including Nazi Captain America, black-girl Ironman, and a villain who is a literal, fedora-wearing man-baby, whining about female and minority representation.
Then there’s Gillette. The story of the company’s $8 billion loss after going full-SJW is comedy gold.
Hold our skinny soy-lattes, say Hasbro and Microsoft.
Hasbro is debuting a special edition of Monopoly which “celebrates women’s empowerment” by giving female players more money. A new mascot will debut alongside the boardgame, both being aptly named “Ms. Monopoly.”
Each turn, women will collect 240 dollars when passing “GO,” while male players will be stuck collecting 200 dollars. By doing so, Hasbro has created the very first game with an actual gender pay gap, all in the name of—you guessed it—equality!
Do female players get a 10% bonus on building hotels as well?
The irony here is that Monopoly is not imagining some feminist utopia, but inadvertently highlighting some very real disadvantages young men in particular labour under.
Studies have shown that women in their 20s earn more than men of the same age. Not just that, but women are also more likely than their male counterparts to be accepted into post-secondary education.
So perhaps the game’s $240 for women rule isn’t so much a handout as it is an honest indicator of the different fields in which men are falling behind.
If that’s the case, Hasbro should consider implementing more real-life statistics into the game. Perhaps male players could have a 1070 percent higher chance of ending up in prison. Better yet, male players should also have a higher chance of dying while playing, considering that 94 percent of workplace fatalities are male.
But, as Disney have found, you can never be woke enough for the outrage-mongers of social media.
Where will Hasbro go next? Well, we’re sure they’ll figure something out, considering they’re about to get hit with a monsoon of angry reviews from players claiming Monopoly enforces the gender binary.
thepostmillennial.com/hasbro-goes-woke-with-new-ms-monopoly-board-game-that-pays-women-more-than-men/
Lining up to go broke next is a fate richly deserved by Microsoft Word. Word is shockingly overpriced, clunky bloatware. Early PC word processors like Multimate knew what they were for, and they did it well. Word tries to be everything from a word processor to an e-book publisher (which it’s actually pretty good at) and a web design platform (which it is horrible beyond measure at). All for a sky-high price tag.
But now, Microsoft really are determined to put the “PC” into its flagship Office program.
Coming soon […]is Microsoft’s new Ideas plugin. This leap forward in the predictive text trend will endeavor to help you be less offensive. Worried you might be a little bit racist? A little gender confused? Not sure about the difference between disabled persons and persons who are disabled? Never fear, Microsoft will fix your language for you.
Using machine learning and AI, Microsoft’s Ideas in Word will help writers be their least offensive, most milquetoast selves. Just like spell check and grammar check function, Ideas will make suggestions as to how to improve your text to be more inclusive. On the surface, this seems like a terrible idea, but when we dig further beneath the impulse, and the functionality of the program, it gets even worse. What’s happening is that AI and machine learning are going to be the background of pretty much every application.
In other words, our PC-overlords in Silicon Valley are not only going to be monitoring every word we write on social media and eavesdropping in our homes via our devices, they’ll be leaning over our shoulders, digitally rapping our knuckles every time we dare stray from the approved Newspeak.
If that sounds like a dystopian nightmare, the solution is simple. Why are you using Microsoft Office anyway? The range of open source office applications is amazing, free – and even better than Microsoft’s overpriced bloatware. I’ve been using WPS Office since my last Microsoft subscription ran out, and I’m never going back. It’s not only basically a clone of Office, it’s fully compatible with it.
Try it. You have nothing to lose but your chains.
