Kay O’Lacey
wokejoke.nz
Information
Satire
The existence, right on our doorstep, of remote tribes where the people enjoy their lives unsullied by modern accoutrements, has been a long-held secret.
The recent lifting of the lid on this enigma is expected to result in a ‘windfall’ for Northland communities this Summer as thousands of Aucklanders (oops Tamaki Makauraueans) pack mum, dad and kids into their Range Rovers and Audi Q7’s and head North to view an anthropological marvel.
Though access will be carefully guarded by local thugs, tourists may get a glimpse of these hidden communities – from a distance – if they just smile and wave their Vaccine Passports. Rumours of protection money (koha) being charged for such access have been dismissed ‘as pure fantasy’.
A local spokesman told press today that “..If you want pure fantasy, we have plenty of drugs up here, so for just a few thousand bucks we can set the whole family up for a lifetime of ruin and despair so you can really embrace the Northland experience”.
But such experience is not for everybody with one tourist worrying aloud “..how can we be sure that these thugs stopping us in our cars in the middle of nowhere are even double-vaccinated?”.
