Oh, boy. Here we go.
Good Oil readers will no doubt be all-too-familiar with the collective roar of ‘Oh, FFS!’ that erupts every time a NEMA alert goes off, which seems to be every time it’s pointless and never when it’s necessary.
Australians are about to get the same annoying ‘wake-up call’. A wake-up call, it seems, to little but the intrusive pointlessness of government agencies.
A 10-second alarm will ring out on every mobile phone across the country on Monday as part of the nationwide AusAlert warning system.
The emergency alert will be tested on mobile phones, tablets and smartwatches before it is officially rolled out in October.
As part of the test, a loud alert will ring through every mobile phone for 10 seconds at 2pm (AEST).
And, like death, taxes and idiot politicians, there’ll be no avoiding it.
The alert will run on all compatible mobile phones on Monday, even if they are switched to silent or on “do not disturb” mode.
Hide your burner phones, folks.
Wesnet chief executive office Karen Bentley said the emergency alerts may impact domestic or family violence victims who should enact a “safety plan” once the system is rolled out in October.
Victims of domestic violence who rely on hidden “safe phones” have been urged to switch their phones off or keep them on aeroplane mode for the test.
Well, thanks at least for the heads up on how to escape this latest outbreak of overbearing Big Nanny arrogance.
And, like all nanny state nosiness, is being passed of as ‘It’s for your own good, peasants’.
AusAlert is a national emergency warning system that sends emergency pings directly to mobile phones of residents in the area of an emergency.
It was created in response to the 2020 Royal Commission into the National Natural Disaster Arrangements.
“We’re a high tourist area, that meant during the Black Summer bushfires many people didn’t receive the emergency alert text message for several days because their telco wasn’t available to them,” Emergency Management Minister Kirsty McBain said on Wednesday.
Well, that’s the self-serving motte. But, as Kiwis are well aware, the bailey is a system that rarely works as advertised and mostly seems to be tailored to annoying the shit out of as many people as possible.
One “tired” New Zealander said sleep on Wednesday was “made impossible” by four alerts through the night.
“I’m all for safety and feel as if these alerts are necessary, but at this point, Civil Defence is playing a joke on New Zealanders,” she said.
She mentioned that during Auckland’s flash flooding in 2023, they were not given “half the amount” of the “apocalyptic” alerts over the earthquake off the coast of Russia.
“Civil Defence needs to get their stuff sorted because this is ridiculous and goes past the point of assuring civilian safety,” she said.
Why are they so surprised? This is a government agency. You know, the same governments who promise to build a million or billion homes and end up knocking up a couple of humpies. Governments who promise hundreds of times to lower household power bills and preside over bills skyrocketing by over 25 per cent in just a couple of years. Governments who announce grandiose mega-projects costed at just two billion dollars, which end up climbing north of $20 billion and are not even close to being finished.
But, sure: they’re going to run an emergency alert system with unerring, faultless precision.
Now, who wants to take bets on how long before we start getting ‘emergency alerts’ announcing the Albanese government’s latest vote-buying bullshit?
