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Kay O’Lacey
wokejoke.nz
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Satire
In a joint announcement this morning involving the PM and James Shaw, the Princess Ardern Government of Aotearoa NZ (PAGANZ) have revealed a new energy-saving initiative.
“James has been using his time in MIQ most productively, and we’re really pleased to share this excellent initiative with you today”.
“We’ve bin (sic) looking at our new Traffic Light system and figured that we would remove the Green Light completely. That’s projected to slash around 50% of carbon emissions from the traffic light system – potentially a big step towards achieving our net zero goal.”
After fending off several questions from gathered reporters, the PM seemed stumped when asked directly just HOW this measure might save carbon emissions, seeing as how the traffic lights weren’t real traffic lights and didn’t actually use any power. Quickly moving on she closed: “.. look James Shaw is just one tool in our toolbox – we have plenty more!”.
While some commentators have said that the Green Traffic light will never be used anyhow, it’s understood that PAGANZ won’t let this one go and, having linked traffic lights to carbon emissions, have decided to ‘pivot’ and immediately remove the green bulbs from all traffic lights in Aotearoa.
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