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A couple of years ago we read about how important Nanaia Mahuta was after being nominated as one of the BBC’s 100 Super Duper Most Importantest Women. As important as a Samoan who could drive a boat it turned out. Well, seeing as how well things have turned out for the “Nanaiapotomus” this year, things should be looking up for our own Pink Haired Labour Harpy, the one and only Siouxsie Wiles (pronounced Suzy for normal English speakers).
You will all no doubt be excited to hear that wee Siouxsie has been nominated for the same accolade. Although it doesn’t seem to be too hard to get the gong this year. Basically, if you are dark-skinned, wear a hijab or are an ‘Activist’, then you’re pretty much a shoe in.
So let’s see who Siouxsie is as important as. Well there are no less than five ‘Disability Activists’, a full twenty-nine other general everyday ‘Activists’, lots of ‘Climate Activists’ etc, but only one bloke, so that is pretty disappointing in this day and age, you would think the list of 100 most important women in the world would have at least fifteen or so deluded self identifiers.
But as we all know, Siouxsie is very important. She is equally as important for instance as Opel Tometi, Alicia Garza and Patrisse Cullors, all founders of the very marxist Black Lives Matter movement who hoovered up three of the spots on this years list. I guess they had to give it to all of them as it wouldn’t have been fair to leave one out now that they’re multi millionaires on the back of the George Floyd fundraisers.
In fact it seems that if you are any sort of female liberal politician you can get the nod too; funny though, zero conservative ones are mentioned.
But some of the other nominees are really important. Take for instance Miho Imada: she has learnt to brew saki, which I guess is very important to some.
Sports are important too: take Deta Hedman, she is especially important because she is really good at throwing darts, so Siouxsie should be very proud.
Someone that may possibly be even more important that Miss Wiles is Vanessa Nakate. Her claim to fame is because she was once cropped out of a photo by mistake!
But perhaps one of my two favourite, most super-importantest women heroes, is the extremely important Kiran Ghandhi. She performs as Madame Gandhi, as a singer, drummer, musician, artist and activist whose mission is to elevate and celebrate gender liberation. She did this by doing what is perhaps the most bizarre way imaginable, but one which is obviously very important. She ran the London Marathon while “
free bleeding“, to tackle the stigma around menstruation. I bet she was bloody exhausted after that!
If only Siouxsie had thought of such an impressive (if not messy) way of becoming important, maybe she would already have that longed for Labour Party list spot.
However, as important as our glow-in-the-dark-jellyfish grower Siouxsie is, she really can’t hold a candle to Rina Akter. Miss Akter, an ex-prostitute in her native Bangladesh, really is the top of the list.
During the pandemic, Rina and her team of helpers have served around 400 meals a week — including rice, vegetables, eggs and meat — to sex workers in Dhaka who have found themselves without clients, and are thus struggling to feed themselves.
People see our profession as demeaning, but we do it to buy food. I am trying to make sure women in this profession are not left hungry, and their children will not have to do this work.
bbc.com
Hmmm, here’s me thinking that maybe just shout them some make-up and a new pair of hotpants and they might be able to look after themselves, but I digress.
So Siouxsie, as important as she is, still has something to aim for. If she only did something as important as feeding ugly hookers, she could surely aim for the top 10 important women in the world.
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