I have never wished anyone cancelled, but I have read of some cancellations with great satisfaction. And I have guffawed out loud to read that Australia’s most-hateful, demented, feminist, green-left harpy has been cancelled from every Meta platform. To wit, given that “hateful, demented, feminist, green-left harpy” is a pretty wide field, none other than Clammy Fraud herself.
Just when you thought it was safe to head back onto the information superhighway, axed Nine newspaper columnist and far-left internet troll Clementine Ford has fired up and is threatening to unleash her own app on the world after being booted off Facebook and Instagram.
The portentous pledge came after Ford’s accounts were deleted by Meta on Friday following some wildly divisive posts of late about the assassination of conservative activist Charlie Kirk, the climate-change kid, Greta Thunberg, and Israel’s blockade of Gaza.
At this rate, her only sources of income will be the ABC and government grants to publish her shitty books – because if the taxpayer isn’t forced to pay for them, no one will buy them.
Ford’s reaction is even funnier.
In an unbridled rant on her personal blog on the weekend, Ford insisted she was “completely unphased” (sic) by the decision to deactivate her accounts.
She claimed she had actually decided to quit the platforms more than two weeks ago anyway – “because the idea of continuing to pretend it wasn’t a festering boil of unrestrained narcissism run by billionaire fascists ushering in humanity’s destruction was becoming untenable” (ummm … so there, Mark Zuckerberg).
Unfortunately, she simply hadn’t had the chance to hit the delete button before Meta did it for her. Funny that.
For all her ‘Well, I was about to leave anyway, akshually, so there…’ high dudgeon, Clammy is remarkably prickly lest anyone enjoy a good belly laugh about it.
Despite attracting widespread criticism for celebrating Kirk’s death, labelling him “a piece of shit” in the wake of his murder and mocking his widow Erika’s heartache at his funeral, Ford somehow managed to summon a gobsmacking lack of self-awareness and have a sarcastic crack at anyone who dared celebrate the death of her social media accounts (yes, seriously).
“I’ve no doubt some will rejoice at this news. I can see from my emails that some already are,” she said. “Good for them, and I mean that sincerely.
“Everyone should find at least one moment of joy in the day, and if celebrating the ‘demise’ of a woman you hate is what does it for you, then go nuts. With any luck, this will be the thing that helps them to finally get over me and, dare I hope, actually forget about me completely.”
Don’t threaten us with a good time, Clammy.
Besides, we all know you’d shrivel up and die without your daily dose of attention. Naturally, then, she goes immediately fishing for more.
Ford’s grandiose claims about her upcoming app certainly gave us a few quiet chuckles.
“An online platform doesn’t create me, and it sure as f..king shit doesn’t determine my value in the world,” she boasted. “I create me. I am the f..king platform.”
To widespread relief, we’re sure, Ford then revealed she would be “sharing details imminently” about her new app “that will deliver daily videos, writings and audio direct to your phone”.
Of course, she’s characteristically confident her legion of fans will be happy to pay for her diatribes through a “tiered subscription model”.
And that will probably go about as well as her Patreon account, which hasn’t been updated for well over a year. Unlike many creators, Ford doesn’t show her membership numbers. But there are clues: judging by the sparseness of reactions and comments to her posts, we can confidently assume there aren’t many people champing at the bit to fork over good money for Ford’s demented rantings. After all, they can get better value just by refusing to give a crackhead change for the bus fare.
Just, please God, don’t let her start an OnlyFans.
