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Rosemary Abbott
PREPARING FOR GAMEDAY
Pink-haired millennial Ruby Galbraith is preparing herself for a big week on Twitter, now also known as ‘X’.
With the New Zealand election likely to see a new Prime Minister come Saturday evening, the 30 year-old from Wellington’s Aro Valley has carefully drafted up multiple anti Christopher Luxon Tweets ready to launch.
“Just another pale white male in a suit!” Galbraith shouted at our reporters, a comment she plans to later Tweet about the National Party leader.
Our reporters then watched Galbraith type away on her Macbook Pro, where she plans to bring down a likely National led government one Tweet at a time.
“Christopher Luxon wears organic cotton shirts but probably can’t even tell you where the nearest farmers’ market is. #FakeEcoWarrior #CapitalismInSheep’sClothing,” she huffed, typing and saving the Tweet in her drafts folder.
“Luxon probably thinks climate change is just a new flavour of organic ice cream. #MeltedIceCapsNotMeltedHearts #NotMyPM”
As Ruby began to build up a head of steam she began to effectively start talking in Tweets to our reporters, failing to realise it takes more than a few social media posts to bring down a government, especially when they’re all just reaching the followers inside her echo-chamber.
“Luxon’s idea of sustainability is buying a reusable coffee cup but never actually using it. Eco hypocrisy!”
