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We all know that Jacinda Ardern has gone. She’s contrived to leave in April and set an election date that suits her: October 14. The news may have boosted champagne sales at the Auckland Viaduct yesterday, but what happens next?

Will Labour really make it to October 14 or will the factions split the party asunder? I guess we won’t know what that looks like until we see who Labour’s caucus chooses for its new leader and deputy leader.

What we do know is that Grant Robertson has said no. So who can step up?

Despite having a rather large caucus, not a single other Labour MP features in any Preferred Prime Minister poll. To make matters worse, the last time a leadership change happened in the governing party and they went on to win the subsequent election was in 1940 when Peter Fraser replaced Michael Joseph Savage in the midst of the Second World War.

Let’s just say the talent pool is exceedingly shallow. A rational party should probably choose David Parker as the leader. He’s sensible, but he comes across as rather bitter.

Nanaia Mahuta and Willie Jackson may well have designs, but their election as leader and deputy would be electoral poison.

Megan Woods, the caucus pie aficionado, is despised by many so doesn’t have much support.

Could Chris Hipkins step up? Possibly, but as the release of Thomas Cranmer’s Covid files shows, he is now hopelessly compromised.

What about Michael Wood? I truly hope they choose him because then we can run the lines that he’s going to do to New Zealand what he has done with roading. He’ll put road blocks in the way of everything, crater the economy like he’s cratered our roads, there will be road works, cones and working parties everywhere, but everything will ultimately grind to a halt.

I’m really scraping the barrel now with possible other pretenders. They are just hopeless and lack any depth at all.

I guess we wait, and celebrate that finally the oppressive nature of Ardern’s totalitarianism has been lifted, even if only for a few days.

Then when the new leaders are ensconced, we will see if they decide to pull those policies and platforms that are toxic.

Could we see an axing of co-governance advances? Will Three Waters be cancelled? What about the Health Reforms?

It’s all up in the air.

On the plus side, it makes for exciting times. The next Taxpayers’ Union/Curia poll is due out later today, and I suspect that for the first time, Jacinda Ardern’s net favourable will be negative. Labour polls daily, so they’ll have the same sense of impending doom.

As a personal aside, I’ve now outwitted, outlasted and outplayed John Key, Bill English, Simon Bridges, Todd Muller, Andrew Little, and now Jacinda Ardern… and I’m still here.


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