Sir Bob Jones
A weekend Stuff website item read “Police seeks man considered very dangerous”. Under that heading was a photo of the fugitive with the caption, “Bryce Studd-Proctor was wanted by Police”.
“Was”? – Presumably, contrary to the heading he was no longer wanted. This practise is not uncommon with dopey young girls. Consider this.
A few weeks ago I arranged to visit a senior medical specialist mate with a large practice and consequently, four receptionists.
I bowled in and said I had an appointment with him, not then noting that expecting me, he’d emerged from his end office and was standing in his doorway laughing at the following exchange.
ME: “I have an appointment with X”.
Dopey Girl: “What was your name?”
ME (with blank face): “I haven’t changed it”.
Dopey Girl (looking puzzled): “What was it?”
ME: “Still the same”.
By now her colleagues were giggling at her, so bewildered, she moved to her next verbal nonsense.
Dopey Girl: “Take a seat”.
ME (still with blank expression): “Where shall I take it to?”
More bewilderment.
My mate then bowled over to collect me but not before I said to the girl, “I’ll give you a million dollars if you can tell me where Belgium is”.
We then duly repaired to my friend’s office where he opened a bottle of red and introduced me to a new specialist colleague.
Half an hour later when we emerged the dopey girl shouted, “Belgium’s in Europe”, her colleagues having told her this.
ME: “That’s not telling me where it is. There’s about fifty countries in Europe. Give me a sheet of paper and I’ll draw a map of Europe and the million is yours if you can even roughly point to where it is”.
She declined this offer.
The pervading ignorance today is mind-boggling. The state school education I received in the 1940s and 1950s was outstanding.
At twelve years of age in my last primary school year, I have no doubt the majority of my forty or so class-mates could have pointed to Belgium on a map. And most certainly, they did not talk in the past tense.
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