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The CoL Is Simply the BEST at Being the Worst

earnest enunciation and fervent facial contortions. Jacinda Ardern PM

William Felt

Apart from Jacinda Ardern’s dress sense there are many, many other Labour party fails:

  • Kiwibuild – fail
  • Child Poverty – fail
  • Immigration – fail
  • Transformative Government – fail
  • Open and Transparent – fail
  • Economic Growth – fail
  • Business Confidence – fail
  • CGT – fail
  • Trains – fail
  • Regional Development Fund – fail
  • Trees – fail
  • Road toll – fail
  • No more taxes – fail
  • Pike River – fail
  • Oil and Gas Industry – fail
  • Free Speech – fail
  • No Strikes – fail
  • Fees Free – fail
  • Elective Surgery – fail
  • Understanding America – fail
  • Claire Curran – fail
  • Mega Fightery – fail
  • 2019 Budget ‘Hack’ – fail
  • Trevor Mallard (rape) – fail
  • Phil Twyford – fail
  • Kelvin Davis in the House – fail
  • Grant Robertson 2019 Budget – fail
  • Golriz Ghahraman – fail
  • Ian Lees Galloway – fail
  • Sroubek affair – fail
  • Winston Peters asleep on the job – fail
  • $10 visits to the Doctor – fail
  • Kermadec marine sanctuary – fail
  • Russian FTA – fail
  • Kiwibuild recalibrate/reset/retreat/resign – fail
  • World-class cancer treatment centres – fail
  • DHB 2019 deficits – fail
  • Gun buy-back/confiscation – fail
  • Information leaks: 1800 police, Waikeria Prison, three strikes, legislative programme, govt priorities, cannabis referendum, tertiary education reforms – fail
  • Charter schools – fail
  • Fuel taxes -fail
  • Labour Youth Camp – fail
  • Police numbers – fail
  • Chief Technology Officer – fail
  • Speaker of the House – fail
  • Education reforms – fail
  • No lies – fail
  • Homelessness – fail
  • NCEA Results – fail
  • Mental Health Inquiry – fail
  • Hugs – pass
  • Magazine Photo Ops – pass
  • Budget Responsibility Rules – fail
  • Crime Stats -fail
  • Bullying and Harassment Report – fail
  • Dunedin Hospital – fail
  • Transparency – fail
  • Repeal of criminal three strikes policy – fail
  • Firearms buy-back – fail
  • Road Safety Budget – fail
  • NewsHub Poll (June 2019) – pass
  • The “Rape” in Parliament that wasn’t
  • Marsden Point Pipeline – fail
  • Appointment of speaker on Day 1 – fail
  • Airforce $1B purchase of Hercules with no tender – fail
  • Twyford and Parker meet with Goff in a ‘secret meeting’ – fail
  • Jenny Marcroft attempts to blackmail Mark Mitchell -fail
  • Shane Jones’ Northland Province Growth Fund trucking magnate connections – fail
  • “Good looking” race horses – fail
  • A lobbyist in the PM’s office who does not declare his clients – fail
  • Education – fail
  • Health – fails (pending) – measles, vaccination, spending, statistics,,….
  • IRD Kiwisaver tax issue – fail
  • Police Commissioner making statements relating to the activities of a political partner – fail
  • Census 2018 -fail
  • Abbey Hartley (RIP) – fail
  • Tasman region after Cyclone Gita – fail
  • Nelson Region after Fires – fail
  • Surgical mesh register – fail
  • Inquiry into Operation Burnham – fail
  • Taking govt jet for a one day hui – fail
  • Chinese relations – fail
  • Facebook hate speech etc – fail
  • Hardship grants – fail
  • Gun register – fail
  • Wore a Scarf – pass
  • USA Trade deal – fail
  • JAG car tax – fail
  • Criminal Justice Summit spend $1.5M ($20k table assembly) – fail
  • The Ihum?tao land occupation Ardern insisted on involving herself in, despite her saying over and over it’s got nothing to do with government – fail
  • The public housing crisis. Numbers setting another record – fail
  • DHB debt, as of last week it has blown out to hundreds of millions – fail
  • Oranga Tamariki baby snatching allegations and the department under siege – fail
  • Confidence surveys numbers. Still falling, business at decade-long lows – fail
  • The JobSeeker benefit numbers. Once again at record numbers -fail
  • National Cancer Agency they promised and yet were beaten to by National? – fail
  • Ministerial Advisory Group which resolved at its first meeting not to keep minutes so as not to have its proceedings subject to the OIA – fail
  • JAG Ministerial letter? Or was it? – fail
  • Kelvin Davis not knowing what CPI represents – fail
  • PTPM not knowing that the new bill on Abortion was a Government Bill – fail
  • Not knowing other party policies – ie) NZ First regarding referendum – fail
  • PM still thinks a 737 is a 757, or a 757 is a 737, she just is not too sure. – fail
  • First day in Parliament – couldn’t count their numbers and then lied about doing so – fail!
  • Measles outbreak – fail
  • Sexual predator in PM’s office – fail
  • Roading Projects – fail
  • West Coast hydro dam – fail
  • Question time attendance – fail
  • Food parcels – fail
  • House waiting list – fail
  • Cost of living up – fail
  • Electric vehicles for Public sector – targets abandoned – fail
  • Inner City speed limits – fail
  • Shane Jones target practice – fail
Photoshopped image credit: Boondecker

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