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The Pylon Fell Over. The BFD. Photoshop by Lushington Brady.

We really do live in a Clown World. The official explanation for the pylon collapse that blacked out the entirety of Northland reads like something from an old John Clarke and Bryan Dawe satire.

Transpower chief executive Alison Andrew has confirmed maintenance crews removed all the nuts at the bottom of three legs of the power pylon that collapsed on Thursday, causing widespread power cuts for all of Northland.

Interviewer: This pylon that was involved in the incident in Northland this week…

Company Spokesperson: The one that fell over?

Interviewer: Yeah.

Company Spokesperson: Yeah, that’s not very typical, I’d like to make that point.

Interviewer: Well, how was it un-typical?

Company Spokesperson: Well there are a lot of these pylons all over New Zealand and it’s very un-typical for them to fall over.

Andrew said Transpower crews were completing “routine maintenance” on the tower in Glorit.

“It is unprecedented and inconceivable that all the nuts were removed at once,” Andrew said.

“Our view is that the specifications and procedures [for the maintenance] were not followed”.

Company Spokesperson: Well, most of them are built so that they don’t fall over at all.

Interviewer: Wasn’t this built so that it wouldn’t fall over?

Company Spokesperson: Of course it was.

Interviewer: So what went wrong?

Company Spokesperson: Well, the pylon fell over.

“It is really important to us to understand what happened,” Andrew said when she was asked about speculation in the hours after the incident.

“Was there a saboteur? Was there corrosion issues? It’s really important to not jump to conclusions.”

Mornez Green, managing director of Omexom, the company completing maintenance on the power, said the incident was “unprecedented”.

Interviewer: In what way was it unprecedented?

Company Spokesperson: Well, it’s very unprecedented for us to take all the bolts off.

“We removed too many nuts from the bolts that resulted in the tower falling over.
“Omexom promptly worked to restore the power.

“I can assure you we will be open and transparent in the investigation.”

Interviewer: Well what sort of procedures are maintenance crews supposed to follow?

Company Spokesperson: Oh, very rigorous engineering procedures.

Interviewer: What sort of thing?

Company Spokesperson: Well, you’re not supposed to take all the bolts off for a start.

Green said the competence of the people on site will be assessed during the investigation.

Interviewer: How will they be assessed?

Company Spokesperson: Well, we’ve already asked them how they took the bolts off, for a start.

Interviewer: And what did they say?

Company Spokesperson: All of them.

Interviewer: They took off all the bolts?

Company Spokesperson: Well, only on three legs, you must understand. One leg was very securely bolted down.

Interviewer: What happened to that leg?

Company Spokesperson: It fell over with the rest of them. But that’s very unusual.

Mark Ryall, executive general manager of Grid Delivery, said any work that was more than “removing one bolt” needs an engineering review. He said he was “confident” in the reviews so far.

Ryall said an audit done recently was successful and showed no issues.

Interviewer: Issues like what?

Company Spokesperson: They didn’t fall over.

The transmission tower collapse, which happened in Glorit, Auckland, about 45km west of Warkworth, occurred at the same time another circuit connecting Northland to the grid was down for maintenance.

NZ Herald

Interviewer: What sort of maintenance?

Company Spokesperson: Making sure it doesn’t fall over.

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