Once upon a time, security agents “pink listed” politicians who were suspected of being clandestine shirt-lifters. This was because the shame and odium then attached to being potentially exposed as a pillow-biter were so strong that it left them wide open to blackmail by foreign agents.
Not any more. Today, a gay politician could engage in a public daisy-chain on the lawns of parliament to the accompaniment of a naked lesbian brass band, and the only acceptable response would be desperate applause. Along with much cooing of how stunning and brave it is of Sir Rodney to fit a ten-inch dildo up his bunghole in front of the entire nation.
The unimpeachable bravery of being a bum-puncher is such that even a politician who sends dick pics to an online blackmailer and tries to escape the blackmail by narking on innocent colleagues and sending the blackmailer their personal contact details, thereby leaving them open to similar attempts at criminal sexual manipulation, is the height of bravery.
That would appear to be the “brave” series of acts recently performed by William Wragg, a British Conservative Party MP who has just been exposed as having engaged with some unknown individual posing as an excitingly erect young man named “Charlie” on the gay dating app Grindr, to whom Wragg subsequently sent some unspecified “compromising things” that “Charlie” then threatened to reveal.
I am unsure why Mr. Wragg was so embarrassed by this prospect, given that every single public photograph of the man in existence is in some sense a massive dick pic already, but embarrassed he was. So embarrassed, in fact, he agreed to hand “Charlie” over the private telephone numbers of several of his fellow MPs, who then also subsequently received similar unwanted (or otherwise, reportedly) obscene images, hoping to drag them into a web of sextortion, too, potentially even by spies working on behalf of a hostile foreign power like China.
Such stunning bravery!
Wragg’s subsequent public admission of his auto-pornographic misdeeds was hailed as “courageous” by the British Chancellor, Jeremy Hunt—who, suspiciously, is himself married to a Chinese woman. Does she also have a secret miniature spy camera hidden away deep inside her kompromat-hungry vulva, thus explaining her husband’s subsequent failure to condemn Wragg for his own misdemeanors?
Other Conservative Members of Parliament agreed with Hunt’s over-forgiving assessment. Wragg’s friend Sir Charles Walker even went so far as to say it would be “madness” for the true “victim” here to resign over the incredibly trivial little issue of facilitating the online sexual harassment of others, as “there’s a lot of compassion out there” for him.
There certainly was in the Conservative Party. More surprisingly, there was an awful “lot of compassion out there” for him amongst rival parties too, whose politicians conspicuously neglected to call for Wragg to be fired.
The lesson here is plain: the Alphabet People can do no wrong. Even trawling online photos of “hot” Filipino children is stunning and brave.
On the other hand, as Dave Chappelle pointed out, upsetting the Alphabet People is instant career suicide.
In the very same week that Wragg was exposed as being so “courageous,” for example, another British political outfit, the Nigel Farage-backed Reform UK Party, unceremoniously ditched five prospective candidates for the infinitely more serious e-crime of making silly jokes on the internet.
Or even stating facts. Reform candidate Jonathan Kay was dumped for stating that Africans have IQs “amongst the lowest in the world”. This is not even an opinion: it’s a simple fact. Of the 40 lowest-IQ countries, only seven are non-African.
Another was sacked simply for liking a tweet by a verboten public figure, British National Party leader Nick Griffin.
What did Griffin’s tweet say? Gas the Jews and turn them into swastika-patterned lampshades? No, it merely described the U.K. as being a “bankrupt, crime-ridden, LGBTQ-obsessed, multicult[ural] shit-hole,” which, thanks to fourteen straight (or otherwise) years of being governed by fake “Conservatives” like Big Willie Wank-Wragg, is simply an accurate assessment of the increasingly parlous state of the nation.
To absolutely insulate himself against all criticism, Wragg also pulled the other magic Get Out of Jail Free card, “mental illness”. Back in the day, the famously depressive Winston Churchill didn’t let the black dog hold him back from saving Britain and the world from Nazism. Nowadays, though, “mental illness” will get you an instant pass on everything from opening yourself and innocent colleagues to blackmail, to nicking expensive frocks.
In shades of once-disgraced AFL coach Dean “Dani” Laidley, another Tory MP tried to wriggle out of criminal charges by wriggling about in women’s clothing.
Jamie Wallis, who in 2022 displayed even more public courage than William Wragg by virtue of crashing his car into a lamppost so hard the pole snapped, [by] fleeing the scene on foot dressed in a black leather miniskirt, makeup, high heels, and pearl necklace (literal, not figurative). In court, Wallis denied he had been driving with undue care and attention, as the prosecution alleged, saying he had simply swerved into the lamppost to avoid a passing cat—a humanitarian action, really.
He further explained that he then suffered a sudden PTSD panic attack, after having recently met up with a fellow gay online, who had suddenly bummed him without a condom despite having politely been asked not to do any such thing. When approached by local residents wanting to check he was uninjured following his accident, Wallis claimed he thought they, too, were about to kidnap, kill, and gang-rape him, as so often happens to car-crash victims these days.
Laidley, who was up on multiple domestic violence and stalking charges, suddenly “came out” as “trans” — and became an instant media darling.
There’s a lot of it going around.
Once news about his car crash leaked, Wallis released a long public statement in which he declared that “I’m trans. Or, to be more accurate, I want to be.” He can’t even do that properly, then […] Having thereby preemptively outed himself as (aspirantly) trans, depressed, and anally traumatized, Wallis rendered it politically impossible to receive any possible public criticism the next time he appeared in the Commons.
Indeed, everyone from then-PM Boris Johnson, to a daisy-chain of opposition MPs, hailed Wallis’ “bravery” and “courage”.
Brave how? He literally fled the scene of his own crime and then got praised for it! […]
A genuinely “courageous” politician within the absurdly homophilic context that now prevails across Westminster would be one who stood up in the House of Commons and courteously explained that, in any sane and rational society, dickheads like Wragg and Wallis would not automatically be allowed to get away with doing terrible things just because they happened to be a pair of giant benders.
Takimag
This is not to advocate returning to the bad old days of pink-listing. Rather, the manifestly obvious point is that a parliamentary fudge-packer shouldn’t be let off the hook, let alone actively celebrated, for doing horrible things. No matter how fabulous his miniskirt might be.
