The Tale of the Wicked Giant, by Sir Bob Jones, part five. (If you’ve missed the previous installments, just click on ExPFC in blue at the bottom of the page to catch up).
‘Henceforth,’ declared Government, ‘to avoid confusion and in the interest of you all, everything is illegal except the things I have said are not through passing laws permitting them to be done. This is necessary,’ added Government, ‘for I am charged with your protection and unless I have complete control over everything and know what you are doing, I cannot properly carry out this great undertaking.’
So the people found they could no longer build the house they wanted, where they wanted, drink together when and where they wanted, start new businesses, educate their children how they wished, read what they wanted and many, many other things, without first obtaining Government’s permission, for Government had told them he knew best on every matter and would decide these things for them.
The do-gooders were very gleeful at this state of affairs and were busy thinking of new things for Government to do. ‘You are an all-powerful and wise God,’ they told him, ‘and it is not right that only we should worship you. You must order the people to pay homage to you as their creator, master and protector as well.’
So Government told the people, ‘I am king of kings and your saviour and I am guided only by compassion and care for you.’ Whereupon many of the people fell to their knees before him. But not all of them.
So to convince all the people of his greatness Government performed some miracles. When the people’s farms and businesses had a bad period about 1935, Government took from them their money and multiplied it and said to his disciples, the do-gooders and malcontents, ‘Go forth unto the people and feed them.’ And he gave them the much bigger pile of money to do this with.
And, although the helpers and do-gooders kept much of this money themselves, the people were greatly moved and many cried out, ‘Hallelujah. Oh great is Government our saviour. Glory to Government who is God.’ Many of them hung his portrait in their homes.
And it came to pass that many of the people gave up working on their farms and at their businesses so as to devote their lives to Government who was God. ‘You are our shepherd and we but your sheep,’ they cried, ‘and we will follow you even should you lead us into the valley of death.’
Government now found his supporters growing rapidly and he built many shrines throughout the land for them to worship him in. Soon there were not many people left working on the farms and in the towns to support Government, his helpers, the do-gooders and followers and Government cried out in anger and told the people still working that they were lazy and must tighten their belts and work harder.
But the people still working became weary with their burden of so much to support and many more of them gave up and joined the Government’s flock as followers, so Government built new towns for them to live in and when they had children he gave them gifts from the people’s tax money. To those followers who did not want to work so as to have more time to worship Government, he gave the people’s tax money as well.
The do-gooders loved the followers almost as much as they loved Government and they went out among them to spread the gospel of their sociology. They taught the followers Government’s message that they were the truly worthy and industrious citizens and not the people on the farms and in the towns who were villains caring only for themselves.
So the followers called upon Government to punish the heathens on the farms and in the towns and Government did so and took their Wednesday’s produce as well as Monday’s and Tuesday’s.
When some of the people complained Government was shocked and cried out in a booming voice that split the heavens, silencing the heathens, ‘The followers are your brothers. How can you be so selfish, for it is written that we are all our brother’s keepers and this I know for I am the biggest brother of all.’ The people were silent and returned to their work.
To be continued…
Sir Bob’s current blog can be found here. It is well worth a look if you have missed it.
