The Herald ran a shabby little hit job on someone yesterday, it seems for the crime of once working for John Key.
A Kiwi woman’s online rant about a sharing a trans-Tasman flight with a “screaming” baby has gone viral and the complainant isn’t taking a backward step.
Lesley Hamilton, former press secretary to Sir John Key, posted a complaint to Air New Zealand on Twitter, telling the airline that they should offer “seat select” to let fliers know whether they would be seated next to a “screaming baby” or only put babies in seats after row 20.
Twitter was not impressed by Hamilton’s impassioned plea, with one user saying she actively seeks out babies on flight so she can offer help, telling Hamilton that “a bit of empathy goes a long way”.
Hamilton wasn’t having it, calling her critics “woke losers” and pointing out that she entertained the infant throughout the flight.
Well, I’m afraid that I’m with Lesley Hamilton on this one. There is nothing worse than being trapped in a small confined space with people you mostly don’t like and one of them has a screaming brat who won’t be silenced. This is what Phenergan was designed for!
I once took a flight where the family in the middle row of four had a screaming ‘Special’ kid jumping up and down in his seat. It was made worse when he shat his pants. The father of this brat just sat there in his taqiyah and his down-trodden, hijab-covered wife just played with the ‘Special’ kid. The people in front were constantly having their seat kicked or pulled on as he treated the seats like a jungle gym. No one said anything, until I did, to applause from the rest of the suffering cabin. The parents, however, did nothing, and at one stage the kid chucked one of his father’s shoes into the aisle. So I went for a leg stretch, and kicked that shoe all the way to the back of the plane and shoved it under the last row. They could just eff off.
Which brings me to this screaming kid. I mean what can you actually do other than tell the parents they can take their brat and eff off?
After screaming kids in the annoyance stakes, comes children squealing incessantly and for no reason at all, on the beach, in the playground, whereever. My mother never tolerated squealing, I can still hear her voice “Stop squealing”. Why can’t modern parents stop such poor behaviour?
These days whenever I hear a squealing child I simply tell the parents to “Take it home”. We shouldn’t have to put up with poorly behaved brats, and no, squealing isn’t the sound of kids having fun. They can eff off too.
Which is what needs to happen with yapping dogs. Apart from screaming and squealing children, the next big annoyance is yapping dogs. The owner of some mutt has usually decided to walk it at 7 am and let the mongrel yap and bark its way down the footpath and then prance all over the beach or park waking the whole neighbourhood up.
“Take it home!”. Eff off!
Screaming infants, squealing children and yapping dogs are just three things than can eff off for 2020.
Billy Connelly has it spot on:
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