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This Is What the Left Think a ‘Regular White Guy’ Is Like

A phony token running-mate for a phony token candidate.

When you realise you're the Token White Guy. The Good Oil. Photoshop by Lushington Brady.

Is this pair really the best the Democrats have to offer in 2024? The party spurned Tulsi Gabbard in favour of the clearly senile Joe Biden then completely disregarded democratic process and parachuted Kamala Harris into the candidate’s spot. Harris, remember, bombed out of both primaries without ever garnering a single vote. The Dems are repeating the same arrogant process by which Labor in Australia repeatedly parachuted DEI Quota Queen Kristina Keneally into safe seats (and voters just as repeatedly tossed her out).

When it came to picking Harris’ running mate, the Dems once again spurned a bright, moderate candidate in the key battleground state, Pennsylvania governor Josh Shapiro. With anti-Semitism as endemic in the American left as it is in Australia, a Jew just wouldn’t do.

What to do, what to do.

To balance out her being a DEI hire, Kamala Harris needed a regular white guy as her running mate. Unfortunately, the Democratic Party doesn’t have any of those, so Harris chose Gov Tim Walz of Minnesota. At the debate this week, the main function Walz served was to remind us that some white men are mediocre.

The media have been doing their level best to convince us that Walz is a salt-of-the-earth, white male, Trump-voting archetype.

Just as, against all evidence, they’ve tried to make believe that Harris is smart and articulate and that Biden didn’t have the brain power of a pudding.

They’re not fooling anyone. Leaving aside Walz’s even-more-unhinged-than-usual Covid lunacy, his ‘working-class man’ persona is as phony as the Dems’ protestations of being the party of the blue-collar class.

Hoping to distract from his party’s hatred of working-class white men, Walz incessantly boasts that he’s a “union man,” as if he’s Marlon Brando in “On the Waterfront.” But he wasn’t a coal miner, a truck driver or steelworker. He was a teacher, meaning he spent up to eight hours a day in a comfortable, temperature-controlled classroom, couldn’t be fired and got summers off.

Then there’s the problem that, like Harris and Hillary Clinton before her, Walz is clearly aware that he’s such an obvious career-political hack that he has to constantly try and bullshit about his ‘real-world experience’.

He has, for example, come up with a million different ways of implying he served in combat in Afghanistan […] In fact, he deployed to Italy, 3,000 miles away from any fighting. No big deal. I wasn’t in combat either. Neither were most Americans. Why must Walz lie?

That’s just the start of his stolen valour, though – something Americans really detest.

Walz has repeatedly claimed that, seized with patriotic fever the week of the 9/11 attack, he promptly reenlisted in the National Guard. “My 20 years,” he says “was actually, ironically enough, up that week of September 11, 2001, because of the time I had off and made up, so I reenlisted like, I think, the vast majority people did with a real uncertainty but wanting to with a real sense of wanting to do something.”

In response to media inquiries, the Minnesota National Guard recently clarified that he couldn’t have reenlisted that week because he wasn’t eligible for retirement for another year.

Walz has long claimed the title of “retired command sergeant major” – the highest rank possible for enlisted soldiers. After he was busted, his title was revised to “retired sergeant major.”

The Harris campaign put out a video about Walz when he joined the ticket showing him railing against guns, saying: “We can make sure that those weapons of war, that I carried in war, is the only place where those weapons are at.”

Obviously, he never carried weapons in a war because he was never in a war.

Then there’s the drink-driving arrest.

Walz told a slew of lies about his 1995 drunk driving arrest (blood alcohol level 0.128) assuring the press that he wasn’t even drunk – in fact, he was allowed to drive himself to jail! – and he only failed the sobriety test because of a misunderstanding due to his hearing loss from service in the Guard. (Never has so little war experience been deployed in so many lies.)

Every one of those claims about his DUI is false.

He should have come clean and pointed out that, hey, at least like Democrat stalwart Teddy Kennedy, he never killed anyone.

But Walz is far from done telling porkies, though.

This week’s whopper was Walz saying he was in Hong Kong during the Tiananmen Square massacre, when, in fact, he was home in Nebraska. (But he still spent Christmas of 1968 in Cambodia with John Kerry.)

Asked about this latest tall tale at the debate, he said – actual quote:

“Look, I grew up in small, rural Nebraska, town of 400. Town that you rode your bike with your buddies till the streetlights come on, and I’m proud of that service. I joined the National Guard at 17, worked on family farms … ” and on and on for several hundred more words.

Well, I guess babbling reams in inane, pointless word salads is contagious in Dem campaign headquarters.


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