Urgent Parliament Sitting to Remove Presstitution Statute

Kay O’Lacey
wokejoke.nz

Warning

Satire

An unexpected outcome of this Government’s Public Interest Journalism Fund is that it has ‘inadvertently’ criminalised many journalists who have apparently fallen foul of an 1891 statute criminalising so-called ‘presstitution’.

Seemingly the government of the day recognised the value of an independent fourth estate in maintaining a functioning democracy and enacted the law to prevent the undermining of this key role.

The various ‘strings attached’ to the current handing of debt-funded government largesse to so-called ‘journalistic organisations’ has been determined to be a specific violation of the statute by police, who have sought guidance from the Crown Prosecutor in the matter. A large number of prosecutions may be pending as a result.

Ironically, while New Zealand removed statutes criminalising prostitution years ago, presstitution (encompassing propaganda, agitprop, brainwashing, disinformation, hype and newspeak) remains punishable under the old statute by fines and/or a prison term not exceeding five years.

Meantime, an inside source has revealed that the problem may be far worse than might be inferred from the $55,000,000 size of the Public Interest Journalism Fund, as the massive ‘river of money’ represented by Labour’s advertising spend may also be found to be directed towards ‘government-friendly’ media.

The issue has the Government scrambling to repeal the law, which is being done as part of a ‘wider review’ aimed at eventually rescinding all laws written by dead white men.