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Victoria: The Joke Isn’t Funny Any More

Dictator Dan. The BFD. Illustration by Lushington Brady.

As I reported recently, Victorian premier Daniel Andrews displayed his hitherto-unsuspected talent for stand-up comedy, when he claimed that Victoria had “higher standards” than any other state when it came to pandemic management.

Dan is keeping them rolling in the aisles by following up with a classic banana-peel pratfall.

Victoria is on a knife’s edge after The Holiday Inn cluster rose to 13 cases, sparking fears of another lockdown with high-level discussions under way on Thursday night over the introduction of a snap lockdown.

Health officials were reportedly drawing up a framework for a snap-lockdown as authorities anticipate an explosion of cases, according to the Herald Sun.

State government advisers were on Thursday instructed to draw up a framework for another lockdown, which could be introduced as early as Friday night, or possibly within days[…]

The Australian understands the snap lockdown being considered could last for five days from late on Friday and would be similar to Victoria’s second wave lockdown, with limits on leaving home, closure of non-essential services and gathering restrictions.

Of course, Victorians plunged into another draconian lockdown might finally find that the joke is beginning to wear a bit thin.

Meanwhile, the folk in the expensive seats are scrambling for the exits.

Victorian federal MPs have been warned to fly to Canberra as soon as possible on Friday ahead of next week’s sitting, ahead of a possible snap lockdown in Melbourne.

An email sent to senators on Friday morning warned: “Based on the evolving situation in Melbourne from the Holiday Inn Covid-19 outbreak, it is highly recommended that any senators who are in the Greater Melbourne area bring forward their travel plans to arrive in Canberra today, Friday 12 Feb.”

On the other hand, New South Wales, the main target of Comedian Dan’s original one-liner, is feeling pretty smug right now.

NSW has recorded zero new cases of local transmission in the last day, as authorities renew calls for returned travellers from Victoria to be aware of hot spot venues.

“NSW recorded no new locally acquired cases of COVID-19 in the 24 hours to 8pm last night,” health authorities said in a statement[…]

Scott Morrison says a “proportionate” response to Victoria’s COVID outbreak will allow contact tracers to contain the cluster[…]

The Prime Minister said a “proportionate” response would enable Victorian health authorities to be successful in containing the cluster as other states had done.

“We have dealt with them in the last few weeks in Sydney and Brisbane and Perth,” he said.

The Australian

Perth, of course, was slammed into a panicked, five-day lockdown on the basis of a single case. So, I’m not sure what the PM’s idea of “proportionate” might be. But it’s long past time that the PM found the backbone to stand up to the COVID Little Hitlers squatting in their bunkers in the state capitals.

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