Ok, this is basically the sentence from my worst nightmares, but if Anthony Albanese wins the Australian election, he needs to take just one leaf from Jacinda Ardern’s playbook. Ooh, I feel a little queasy after typing that.
In fact, whoever wins the election should follow Ardern’s lead, just once. Bear with me, BFD readers: there’s a method to this seeming bout of madness. Allow me to elaborate.
Anthony Albanese has told some senior party colleagues he is in favour of appointing Kevin Rudd as Australia’s next ambassador to Washington if Labor wins the federal election.
The Opposition Leader has remained a “huge Rudd supporter” since the pair were Labor MPs in opposition during the Howard government years, and his backing for Mr Rudd as prime minister never wavered.
That alone ought to disqualify Albanese from ever being allowed within ten feet of the government benches. There’s a reason Rudd went, in less than a single term, from being Labor’s “Kevin07” superman to one of its most hated ex-leaders (and that’s just by his own party).
Still, Rudd’s advocates point out that he began his career as a diplomat and spent time as chairman of a globalist think tank in New York (when he wasn’t getting pissed and thrown out of strip joints).
Others, though, are less sanguine about rewarding a bitter bomb-thrower with what is traditionally the blue-ribbon job for political retirees.
Others in senior Labor ranks are highly sceptical about sending Mr Rudd to Washington, fearing his status as a former Australian prime minister and apparent appetite for maintaining a high personal profile could pose problems for Canberra.
They say handing Mr Rudd Australia’s top diplomatic post would be a mistake if he continued to speak out independently on policy issues, beyond serving the government’s interests, or possibly contrary to official policy.
“He’d be seen as Australia’s prime minister in Washington,” one senior critic inside Labor said. “It could be a disaster.”
“Rudd.” “Disaster.” Why do those words appear so often in the same sentence?
There’s no denying that the Washington ambassadorship is the plummest of the plum jobs for the old boys of Australian politics. Consider the current, and past appointees: Arthur Sinodinis (Abbott/Turnbull Attorney-General), and former opposition leaders (from both sides of the aisle) Kim Beazley and Andrew Peacock.
The last non-politician in the role was Dennis Richardson, Mr Beazley’s predecessor, appointed by Mr Howard after a distinguished career as a diplomat and security chief […]
Since Labor’s 2019 defeat, Bill Shorten has privately floated a possible Labor leadership comeback if his party loses the next few elections. A “plan B” also suggested is that Mr Albanese, as prime minister, might appoint his former leadership rival to Washington. Sources close to Mr Albanese say he has ruled out this idea.
The Australian
Which brings me back to my opening argument: whoever wins government should look to Jacinda Ardern as a guide to dealing with Rudd.
Neither side of politics has any great love for Rudd, nor any benefit from his vengeful ghost haunting Canberra. When Rudd isn’t white-anting his old party, he’s pitching tents in the undies of the latte set by ludicrously clamouring for a “Royal Commission into the Murdoch Press”.
So, both sides have a vested interest in shoving Rudd off and shutting him up — which makes the idea of giving him the most sought-after post-politics job even more incredulous.
Instead, the next Australian PM should deal with Rudd exactly as Ardern did with Louisa Wall: shove him off to some made-up but well-paid, pseudo-diplomatic posting to a remote fly-speck nation. Best not the South Pacific, where Rudd’s Chinese connections could do far too much damage.
Make him the Ambassador for Gender Equality in the Falkland Islands. Or better yet, the Galapagos.
