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What Do They Do with a Problem like Lisa?

Her and her big mouth. The BFD. Photoshop by Lushington Brady.

It’s a classic case of buyer’s regret for Australia’s Ten Network. Ten, which fancies itself as the “yoof” network. They spent seven figures hiring a Boomer leftist from the Harbourside Mansion set — only to find that she’s ratings poison and a nightmare for the legal department. Now, she’s chucked a champagne hissy-fit and quit the flagship show she was specifically poached for.

So, now what?

The big problem for Ten is that Wilkinson, one of the country’s highest paid TV stars, has a watertight seven-figure contract with Ten that Diary understands lasts well beyond next year. She signed a multi-year contract extension with the network around the middle of 2021.

Like all socialists, Lisa Wilkinson is all about the Benjamins. Ten foolishly paid megabucks to parachute Wilkinson into The Project, only to find that even the sort of people who can keep their lunch down on seeing Waleed Aly’s smirking face, just can’t stomach Wilkinson.

The numbers for Wilkinson and Hamish Macdonald’s Friday and Sunday night versions of The Project in 2022 have been well below those of the Monday to Wednesday editions headed up by Carrie Bickmore and Waleed Aly.

Worse, she single-handedly kept the legal department working overtime to put out the fires set by her monomaniacal pursuit of the Brittany Higgins accusations. Wilkinson’s gold-plated ego delayed the trial itself after she took to the Logies stage to mouth off. She “took two months” off The Project immediately afterwards.

But, like all Boomer princesses, it’s never her fault: it’s always the whole world agin her. As entertainment journalist Peter Ford put it, “Only Lisa could manage to announce ‘her decision’ & make herself a victim at the same time. All the hard work she’s put in etc etc for 4 nights a week and 20 grand a week. That poor lady!”

In announcing her Project departure, Wilkinson pointedly blamed “relentless targeted toxicity” from sections of the media which had “taken a toll” in the wake of her headline-making speech.

So, now Ten have a platinum elephant on their hands.

In the nicest possible way, Beverley McGarvey, chief content officer for Ten’s owner Paramount, underlined that Wilkinson was still on its books, when she noted that she looked forward “to continuing our strong relationship with Lisa into 2023 and beyond”.
But that vague statement doesn’t give much insight into what Wilkinson will actually do at a network known primarily for its reality shows: notably tentpole programs like MasterChef, The Bachelor, I’m a Celebrity, Survivor, The Amazing Race and Hunted.

The Australian

Maybe Ten can shove her into I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!, dump her in the darkest wilds of outer suburbia and hope that shuts her up until her contract runs out.

But Wilkinson is just the start of Ten’s Project headaches. According to Ford, Wilkinson is just the first rodent to scurry down the hawsers as The Project steadily takes on water. “There will be more ‘shock resignations’ in the next two weeks,” says Ford. Carrie Bickmore announced her own departure a month ago. True to Ford’s prediction, Peter Helliar announced his resignation just last week.

Does this mean Australians can finally breathe a sigh of relief that Australia’s most assiduous Islam apologist, Waleed “terrorism is just an irritant” Aly will, at last, be gone from their screens? We can but hope and pray.

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