Table of Contents
The Mouth Mask
( Also known as the The Reverse Batman)
Wearers of the mouth mask are a special kind of stupid. Perhaps they think that the purpose of the nose is solely for perching their sunglasses on and that they only breathe through their mouths? Would they wear underpants with their genitals hanging out over the edge? Yes. Yes, I think they would.
The Chin mask
(Also known as The Chin Strap)
Wearers of the Chin mask hate wearing a mask so they express their discomfort by ensuring that it is completely ineffective. They know it defeats the whole purpose of wearing a mask but they do it anyway. They comply with the order to wear a mask begrudgingly. Nothing says “I don’t really want to be doing this” quite like the chin mask.
The Inside Out Mask
( It’s twin is the Upside down mask)
Wearers of the inside out or upside down mask don’t know that they are wearing it incorrectly. If they had bothered to read the instructions on the packet they would know that the white side should be touching their face and the coloured side should be on the outside. They would also know that the edge with a wire inside it should be at the top so that it can be pinched to mould to the shape of their nose. Despite seeing other people wearing the same mask correctly they blithely continue on without engaging any brain cells.
The Fabric Mask
Wearers of the fabric mask are creative types who see mask-wearing as an extension of their wardrobe or just another crafty/sewing project. They are completely harmless and in many cases are trying to make lemonade from the lemons that life has thrown at them. Their cheerful patterns make the mask less dehumanising although for a select few it is an opportunity to virtue signal while modelling the latest designer mask as an influencer on Instagram.
The No Mask, Mask
Wearers of the No Mask, mask are life’s rebels. They don’t like being compelled by the government to comply, especially when they cannot see any logic in the compulsion. How can wearing masks be optional and of no real medical use during the first wave of COVID-19 (when mask supplies were completely inadequate for the population’s needs) but now suddenly the exact same masks ( now in more plentiful supply) are magically of use during the second wave? Wearers of the No Mask, mask see the population who wear masks as compliant sheep and their bare faces are their way of giving the government the middle finger.
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