One of the more amusing aspects of little David Seymour is how he utterly despises the people who vote for him and desperately craves approbation from those who despise him in return. It’s a bizarre situation bordering on mental illness. A couple of glaring examples spring to mind.
First, little David supping at the feet of Jacinda Ardern as crowds gathered to protest on the lawn of Parliament, and his cap-doffing ‘Yes mistress’ agreement to ignore the protesters which fell apart when he realised the political support they had. Little David then proceeded to simply lie, claiming there was no caving in to Ardern (there most certainly was). In short, the Wadestown/Grey Lynn wokester crowd are the cool kids at Auckland Grammar circa 1997 who little David desperately wanted to like him (they didn’t).
Then there was his infamous interview with Bob McCoskrie, which wrecked the ACT election campaign. Little David couldn’t hold it together for more than a minute before spewing forth his hatred of Christianity and the recorded interview quickly went viral. ACT dropped four percentage points overnight (costing them five MPs) and never recovered. We can only speculate as to how widespread within the ACT party his anti-Christian viewpoint is (hint: 99 per cent) – after all, the cool kids all hate Christianity so, by golly, little David will too: ‘Maybe this will make the cool kids like me?’ (No, it won’t.)
What this reminds me of is a similar situation in America (which of course never happened – only stupid racist conspiracy theorists think it did) that went something like this: Mitch McConnell, the Republican Senate leader, has always despised the people who vote for him – Kentucky hillbilly types in coal mining communities. He much prefers wealthy country club types and Democrats so nobody thinks he’s a stupid, ignorant redneck. Jeepers, it’s not his fault these awful people vote for him, is it?
Then there followed the horrifying situation of millions of these goddamned people electing Donald Trump, causing all manner of conniptions for McConnell. To support Trump means that everyone will think he’s an [anal aperture] and won’t play with him any longer. Ugh! What to do? So he went along with the anti-Trump swamp crowd. Particularly the plan to steal the 2020 election: Biden would become president but McConnell would be Majority leader and ensure none of the weirdo stuff happened.
Along comes the election. Five states stop counting simultaneously – so obviously coordinated in order to find out how many votes are required for Biden to win. McConnell and his deputy John Thune quickly, on cue, join the chorus claiming with a straight face: no irregularities and 2020 being ‘the most secure election in our history’. There was a run-off election in Georgia for the US Senate, but nothing to worry about – everything was going according to plan.
Then, to the horror of McConnell and Thune, the slimy buggers stole two Senate seats in Georgia. Live on television and right under their noses! McConnell was no longer majority leader. Having long since sold his soul to people who despise him – in a vain hope he’ll win their respect and approbation in return – McConnell had to sit there and take it: ashen faced and realising the horror that his (ahem) new found ‘friends’ had betrayed him. The rogues! The smirks from Schumer and Pelosi the next day said it all.
Just as on the day little David Seymour’s career finally comes to an end, the smirks from Labour/Green MPs as he slinks out of parliament and off to Canada to be a file clerk, oops I mean ‘engineer’, will ‘say it all’.
