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The BFD.

The dictionary definition of “invertebrate” is “an animal lacking a backbone, including arthropods, molluscs, annelids, etc”.

A few new species have just revealed themselves, and recent observations show the following characteristics. Most are of European origin. None are aggressive, even mildly assertive, or retaliatory.  All appear to have little ability or even interest in defending themselves or their territory from attack.

The BFD. Photoshopped image credit Luke

The first one is called Directorius museum, discovered this week in Christchurch. Faced with a sudden show of aggressive antenna-rattling from a small but persistent attack force of female assailants, the Directorius offered no resistance,  then meekly stood aside as the attackers invaded its home territory, and wrecked it, to the extent that it will have to be rebuilt.

THE-PRESS Canterbury Museum’s then display manager, Gary Bagot, works on the diorama in 1992.

There are two others that are very similar to each other: one is Netflixus timidus, while the other is BBC-us surrenderum.  Both have been observed fearfully abandoning their habitat and hiding underground, in response to threats from mere paper tigers.

Number four is a large population of invertebrates which are native to this country, Cops zealandii. They have created a stir within the scientific community due to a rapid process of mutation, whereby the previously existing spine has completely disappeared. The reasons for this can only be speculated upon, but are concerning.

In summary, these discoveries are causing dismay in the biological world, in that instant capitulation is the reaction to any threat to their continuing existence.

More alarming, however, is the very real possibility that the hugely destructive and more dominant, one-eyed species will take over the ecosystem altogether.

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