Albany Ward: An Absolutely Biased Guide to Auckland Local Elections

RATINGS GUIDE:

$ to $$$$$ with $ being a leftist trougher and $$$$$ being small government dynamo

For some, however, a clown is more appropriate. More than one may be awarded.

Candidates – Council

• Alezix Heneti
• Julia Parfitt – Independent
• Wayne Walker – Putting People First
• John Watson – Putting People First

Alezix Heneti

It would be incredibly rude to call Alezix batshit crazy. Bat shit can be used as a soil conditioner, fungicide and is excellent for speeding up the decomposition process in compost. Ms Heneti’s talents extend to talking extremely fast about very little of interest, writing confusing, rambling and irrelevant candidate statements in UNDERLINED CAPITAL LETTERS, and packing her wardrobe with enough orange to replace the orange stickman working for the electoral commission.

If her autobiography is accurate, she has been a security guard working 7 nights a week, led a 120 staff telemarketing team, made $1.4 million in 22 minutes, stood in multiple elections in countless cities, lived all over the world while training sports teams 6 days a week every year for 25 years. Despite that, in 2016 she campaigned for Auckland Mayoralty and Albany Councillor, and despite breaking electoral law, remained fully confident in her ability to do both jobs at the same time. Based on this notorious 2016 Mayoral Campaign Debate, I suspect she’d be trespassed from the Town Hall within a week.

Her 2016 policy program for Albany included cutting rates in half, doubling benefits for superannuitants, building KIWI Disneyland and improving everything in Council by 10-1000%.

Her 2019 candidate profile reveals she is “outstanding and awesome.” On her way to becoming a “John Kehoe Mind Power Quantum Leap Graduate trained by Robin Banks, I discovered I am outstanding, awesome and amazing.”

Keep an eye out for this lady. Who says local elections have to be boring?

Julia Parfitt – Independent $$$

Julia was Deputy Mayor of the North Shore Council under Andrew Williams. Whether that makes her hungry for power under any circumstances or a tough cookie is for you to decide. Julia wants more funding for Local Boards and for the decisions that affect them to be made locally. Once I would have called that pork-barrelling to shore up her Local Board supporters, but as the amalgamation of the councils in 2010 has failed to result in efficiencies, I think that position has some merit.

The growth of the city should be “environmentally sustainable and designed to enhance existing communities.” That’s politician speak for ‘I’m a red-tape NIMBY.’

She wants money to be spent wisely (who doesn’t) and debt reduced but opposes asset sales. As for development contributions, Parfitt advocates spending those in the area from which they are sourced. Greater accountability for CCO’s and a new harbour crossing. I’m 100% on board with that but need to see more detail. If it is going to run parallel to the existing crossing then it’s a waste of money.

Wayne Walker – Putting People First $$

Walker is an award-winning speaker, having won non-specified NZ speaking competitions. Having listened to his slow, dull nasal tones in council meetings, where there is more silent space between each word uttered than actual speech, it just doesn’t seem possible. Surely he wouldn’t lie.

Walker is the consummate NIMBY, having fought against high-rise development proposals in Browns Bay, Milford and Orewa. He claimed that increased density drives up land prices, which is nonsense. Artificial land scarcity caused by excessive regulation drives up land prices, incentivising high-rise developments.

This environmental warrior has put some truly stupid proposals to the council, such as advocating that half of the Chamberlain Golf Course be transformed into a wildlife sanctuary. “If ever there was a place where you could also have a wildlife sanctuary because golf courses essentially are fenced in part, then this is it,” he said.

Walker isn’t just an advocate of declaring a climate emergency, he actually went to Paris to witness the signing of the Paris Agreement.

Walker has previously voted against large rates increases but never backed this up by trying to reduce spending. The only redeeming feature Walker has is his opposition to moving Western Springs Speedway.

John Watson – Putting People First $$

This Putting People First ticket candidate claims to be 100% independent. He’s already pissed me off because he also claims to provide “honest, open leadership.”

Watson also says he is committed to improving transport “getting people to destinations quicker through bus/ferry/northern motorway enhancements, congested intersection upgrades/parking and Penlink. Aside from the mention of ferries which are incredibly uneconomical and heavily subsidised, there is little else for me to object to but we have been hearing about Penlink for a very very very long time. How many more election campaigns can supporting a never built Penlink be a positive for Watson?

Watson, like Walker, voted for a $9.8 million grant to Eden Park. The alternative was making it an interest-free loan with no end date payable only if the land were to be sold. Like Walker, he congratulated AT on providing 20 more ferry sailings for Hobsonville and Beach Haven ferry users. Unlike Walker, he voted against the notorious 2015 budget which resulted in 9.9% rates increases.

Not exactly independent but infinitely less annoying than his Putting People First running mate.

MY RECOMMENDATION: There are two positions in Albany ward, so you get two votes. Julia Parfitt and John Watson.

https://thebfd.co.nz/2019/08/hold-the-press-a-sneak-peek/ https://thebfd.co.nz/2019/08/faq-an-absolutely-biased-guide-to-auckland-local-elections/ https://thebfd.co.nz/2019/08/an-absolutely-biased-guide-to-auckland-local-elections/