Information Satire Bombshell Documents Editor: A very concerned highly placed public servant has leaked this contentious and confidential document to The Woke Examiner. Titled Hurihia te Pupuhi Wairangi, it lays out the propaganda strategy needed to achieve co-governance with the Maori minority in Aotearoa as per He Puapua. In the
Information Satire Michael Wood explainer Editor: The Minister of Unions Michael Wood announced today that beneficiaries would be unionised under his Fair Pay legislation. Michael Wood said, “Fair Pay Agreements are about investing in our people – beneficiaries – which is part of the Government’s COVID-19 recovery plan. “A team of
Information Satire Jacinda Ardern’s Conversations Editor The Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern sat down with the Woke Examiner to have a good natter about her latest achievements. J.A.C.E: “Good evening Prime Minister, it is a wonderful privilege to be in your presence.” J.A: “Why thank you,
Information Satire Jacinda Ardern’s Climate Change Explainer Editor The recent Climate Leaders Summit organised and hosted by our Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern was met with worldwide acclaim. President Joe Biden acknowledged her as one of the world’s great thinkers and said she was leading the universe’s fight
Information Satire Michael Wood Explainer Editor Speaking from the government’s Facebook/Newshub broadcasting bunker, the Minister of Transport, Michael Wood, publicly congratulated Kiwi Rail on its magnificent achievements with Te Huia – the rapid train express from Hamilton to Auckland. While he said he didn’t want to take anything
Information Satire Jacinda Ardern Explainer Editor Speaking from her NewsHub/Facebook bunker Jacinda Ardern announced today the banning of all dictionaries. The possession of one will result in life imprisonment without trial. All internet dictionaries will be blocked and searching online for one will result in a heavy fine and
Information Satire Jacinda Ardern Explainer Editor: Speaking from her Facebook NewsHub bunker, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced today the creation of a new ministry which she will oversee. Hungarei Manu Waiata (Ministry of Holidays) will manage public holidays and create new ones as the need arises. Firstly, taking into account
Information Satire Interim Government Explainer Editor: Stuart Nash announced today that the tourism industry is to be completely abolished. “This will neatly free up our gross over supply of tourist hotels for much needed housing stock”, he said. “Hotel owners will be relieved of these millstones around their necks for
Information Satire Nanaia Mahuta Explainer Editor: Recently a discussion document about the underlying reasons for using Aotearoa instead of New Zealand was slipped under the door of The Woke Examiner. As it is Minister Mahuta’s policy to work only in Maori it needed to be translated. Mahuta conducts all
Information Satire Netflix Correspondent: Netflix has signed a contract with Jacinda Ardern to produce a reality TV show about her upcoming marriage. Based on The Bachelorette it will have an international flavour with a pool of sophisticated, high-powered politician romantic-interests plus the wild card of the unlikely Clarke Gayford – all
Information Satire TWE Jacinda Ardern Explainer Editor: Broadcasting from her Facebook Bunker, the Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced today the transmogrification of her Facebook channel to a fully integrated news outlet. “Traditional news outlets are too negative,” she said, “and are continually asking me things which I know nothing about:
Information Satire TWE Jacinda Ardern Explainer Editor: The Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern announced today that things will be more structured in the future so that businesses can organise their affairs in a more rational way. The underutilised minister, Phil Tryford, is drawing up a new schedule of planned lockdowns for
Information Satire UN correspondent: The UN has decided that Aotearoa will become a kindness rehabilitation centre for the world’s most unwanted criminals. UN head António Guterres praised Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern for her willingness to welcome Australia’s violent criminals and bed them into society. Her diplomatic excellence in
Information Satire Hollywood Correspondent: The 1979 American satire movie “Being There” starring Peter Sellers is to be remade with a strong female lead. Instead of Chance the gardener, the plot will have Cindy, a simple-minded ex fish-and-chip-shop assistant who lived all of her adult life in the sheltered workshop of
Information Satire UN correspondent: The UN has condemned the recent change of government in the US as a coup, voting for comprehensive sanctions until the US holds fair and corruption-free elections. China was the only country to abstain, saying President Biden was a good friend, the US was an independent
Information Satire By TWE History Explainer-editor: A recent excavation in a cave in a remote part of Westland has unearthed an explosive history changing discovery. A trove of documents written in a beautiful early Maori script along with photographs from the 1700s shows Maori were not in the ‘stone age’
