Perhaps I’ve been a tad hasty. Let’s get the Don on the phone and recommit to ANZUS and, while we’re at it, let’s see about getting on his Board of Peace overseeing Gaza – I’m sure we can sell the Gazans some milk powder or something.
I will not attempt to tell you what is going to happen, but what will almost definitely not happen.
To help regular fellas wade through the countless novels of female empowerment and homosexual awakenings, here’s my list of ‘books with balls’.
If faced with a hectoring young zealot, or similar political awkwardness, you may have recourse to the following advice.
At this time of year TV and print journos down tools and, rather than do something useful like giving Willie Jackson a festive season scare by looking into certain allegations, instead think up inane Christmas questions to ask politicians.
To hell with the measles and whooping cough, what we need is a mass vaccination programme against socialism.
So what exactly do our performative pedagogues want?
The BSA’s reasoning, such as it is, takes a very broad definition of ‘broadcasting’. So broad in fact it could be used to restrict what New Zealanders say in many commonplace situations…
Returned to parliament still in the grips of PGCD. Everything seemed to remind me of it. The huge Palestinian flag on the wall in my office. The ‘From the River to the Sea’ I’d scratched into the wall of the ladies’ loos.
An elderly Pākehā man with a walker had the temerity to ask, “Is there a post office near here?” as if a proud Māori man such as myself only exists to give him street directions! This is the kind of micro-aggression us Māori have to put up with on a daily basis.
So yet again we need to tighten our belts. Trouble is, if I tighten mine any further I risk cutting off blood to my nether regions – and all my best stuff is down there.
In a desperate attempt to wring comedy from tragedy, I’ve examined the type of slurs used to put a target on the back of conservatives and then I’ve translated them into something approaching plain English.
Last Saturday night at an undisclosed Wellington location, our pollies held a boozy bacchanal to decide who was the number one political cosplayer. Prizes were given and competition was fierce.
