Now for the (Other) Epstein Files
There is a conspiracy operating here, but it’s not a new one: it’s the attempt by powerful men to hide from their wives, and the world, what they like doing with powerless young women.
John Black
A Sober Analysis of the Indian Free Trade Deal
I reckon Luxon was hustled by some New Delhi sharpies. Turning on the same oily charm my local dairy owner uses to try and sell me two-year-old chicken soup.
The No World Order
Perhaps I’ve been a tad hasty. Let’s get the Don on the phone and recommit to ANZUS and, while we’re at it, let’s see about getting on his Board of Peace overseeing Gaza – I’m sure we can sell the Gazans some milk powder or something.
Things That Won’t Happen in 2026
I will not attempt to tell you what is going to happen, but what will almost definitely not happen.
The Books With Balls
To help regular fellas wade through the countless novels of female empowerment and homosexual awakenings, here’s my list of ‘books with balls’.
How To Avoid Politics at Christmas
If faced with a hectoring young zealot, or similar political awkwardness, you may have recourse to the following advice.
Some Christmas Questions for the Pollies
At this time of year TV and print journos down tools and, rather than do something useful like giving Willie Jackson a festive season scare by looking into certain allegations, instead think up inane Christmas questions to ask politicians.
Mamdani, NY and the Socialist Test
To hell with the measles and whooping cough, what we need is a mass vaccination programme against socialism.
The Striking Teacher’s Demands Have Been Leaked
So what exactly do our performative pedagogues want?
The BSA Is Coming For You
The BSA’s reasoning, such as it is, takes a very broad definition of ‘broadcasting’. So broad in fact it could be used to restrict what New Zealanders say in many commonplace situations…
The Diary of Chloe Swarbrick
Returned to parliament still in the grips of PGCD. Everything seemed to remind me of it. The huge Palestinian flag on the wall in my office. The ‘From the River to the Sea’ I’d scratched into the wall of the ladies’ loos.
The Diary of Tākuta Ferris
An elderly Pākehā man with a walker had the temerity to ask, “Is there a post office near here?” as if a proud Māori man such as myself only exists to give him street directions! This is the kind of micro-aggression us Māori have to put up with on a daily basis.
Five Big Ideas That Will Save Our Economy
So yet again we need to tighten our belts. Trouble is, if I tighten mine any further I risk cutting off blood to my nether regions – and all my best stuff is down there.
A Guide to Lefty Slurs
In a desperate attempt to wring comedy from tragedy, I’ve examined the type of slurs used to put a target on the back of conservatives and then I’ve translated them into something approaching plain English.