If you are at all worried about any of these protocols, feel free to consult a local kaumātua. A koha needs to be paid, which may translate as a ‘gift’, but in reality translates as $299 an hour, payable by cash, credit card or bitcoin.
In a little-known addendum to the National Party manifesto, our dear leader has penned a guide for parents dealing with the scourge of the internet. I have reproduced it in full below:
Radically reducing immigrant arrivals and visa restrictions is one thing, but rounding up people who may have been in the country for decades because they don’t ‘look like a Kiwi’ is quite another – and a much more horrifying – story.
Time and time again this has been proven to be a fool’s errand – which explains why the Green party pursue it with such vigour. And why Luxon has decided to join them.
The Opportunity Party is like a new Whittaker’s chocolate bar on display near the check-out – for a week or so everyone will be putting it in their trolley. But pretty soon, when they realise how uninspiring the ingredients are, it will be in the bargain bin along with the expired crunchy bars.
In employing accessible entertainment to expose an uncomfortable truth, the filmmakers are doing as much to fight the woke consensus than any political party.
I did consider consulting David Farrar on my methodology but realised I would have to learn how to pronounce his last name and would probably have to do a six-month course in Nerd to understand any advice he gave. Anyway, here are the results of our inaugural poll.
I think New Zealand should take the lead on this. Issue our own travel ban list, sent forth to all embassies with maximum fanfare.
The King’s Birthday should be the pinnacle of our public holidays, worthy of our entire nation raising a glass (or in my case, several) to the institution of the monarchy. Here’s why.
Angus was devastated by Paul Goldsmith’s decision to euthanise the BSA. He immediately dashed off a letter (he doesn’t do email. Or mobile phones, microwaves or indoor plumbing).
Being, by all accounts a staggeringly unreflective man, I don’t imagine Trump keeps a diary. But if he did…
