John Black
Man Identifies as Woman to Get Half-Priced Drinks on Ladies’ Night
John Black stuffednz.net “It was the greatest day of my life,” claimed William O’Shaughnessy or ‘Whiskey Bill’ as he’s known in his local pub, the Pig and Whistle. “The day I legally changed sex. I felt like my true self at last. A self that gets half-
Government Cancels Spring
John Black stuffednz.net Information Satire The Prime Minister has announced she is cancelling spring. ‘Warmer, sunnier weather may encourage people to get outside and enjoy life. There is also a very slim chance that this will spread covid. So I hereby declare spring to be cancelled.’ Asked how she
Cancelled Cookies
John Black stuffednz.net Information Satire What could be more inconsequential than what you have with your cuppa? I’m a digestives enthusiast, you’re a mallow-puff fiend. Unless only one of us is doing the shopping, couldn’t we just get along? Apparently not if you are of
Mystery Advisor Seen Leaving Beehive
John Black stuffednz.net Information Satire Rumours abounded yesterday that the figure seen leaving the PM’s offices late last night was none other than Kim Jong-un, the ‘Supreme Leader’ of North Korea. Sid Dingle, a nightshift cleaner at the Beehive, told STUFFED that he had seen evidence of
Maori to Receive Anti-colonialism Vaccine
John Black stuffednz.net Information Satire The government has announced it will be trialling a new anti-colonialism vaccine on the nation’s indigenous people. “The results so far have been encouraging” said Heather Whiteguilt, Labour’s minister for Racial Division. “The recipients have almost immediately given up cigarettes, alcohol
Aucklanders Overjoyed They Can Now Wait in a 4-HOUR Queue for Cold K.F.C
John Black stuffednz.net Information Satire With the change in alert levels from 4 to 3, residents of New Zealand’s biggest city are wildly excited at the prospect of life continuing almost exactly as it had before. But now with the option to stuff their faces with fast food.
Masks to Be Compulsory When Making Love
Information Satire John Black stuffednz.net Under new Covid-19 regulations, masks will be legally required during ‘intimate relations’. Government minister for Covid-19 Hysteria, Dwayne Numpty said the new laws were necessary as “sexual relations are a vector for virus transmission. There was a spike just last Saturday, after
‘Unbearable Smugness’ Main COVID Vaccine Side Effect
John Black stuffednz.net A feeling of smugness and unwarranted pride have been reported as the major side effects of the Covid-19 vaccine. Within 24 hours of receiving it, many of the newly vaccinated are feeling an irresistible urge to tell everyone they know. Many follow this up with
Freedom Elimination Strategy on Track
John Black stuffednz.net Information Satire Prime Minister Ardern has reassured New Zealanders that her government was on track to eliminate all their personal freedoms by the end of its second term. “We have already made massive progress in this area. We’ve locked you in your homes, made you