John Black

The Striking Teacher’s Demands Have Been Leaked

So what exactly do our performative pedagogues want?

The Diary of Chloe Swarbrick

Returned to parliament still in the grips of PGCD. Everything seemed to remind me of it. The huge Palestinian flag on the wall in my office. The ‘From the River to the Sea’ I’d scratched into the wall of the ladies’ loos.

The Diary of Tākuta Ferris

An elderly Pākehā man with a walker had the temerity to ask, “Is there a post office near here?” as if a proud Māori man such as myself only exists to give him street directions! This is the kind of micro-aggression us Māori have to put up with on a daily basis.

Five Big Ideas That Will Save Our Economy

So yet again we need to tighten our belts. Trouble is, if I tighten mine any further I risk cutting off blood to my nether regions – and all my best stuff is down there.

A Guide to Lefty Slurs

In a desperate attempt to wring comedy from tragedy, I’ve examined the type of slurs used to put a target on the back of conservatives and then I’ve translated them into something approaching plain English.

My Guide to Sucking up to Dictators

The Great NZ Political Cosplay Competition

Last Saturday night at an undisclosed Wellington location, our pollies held a boozy bacchanal to decide who was the number one political cosplayer. Prizes were given and competition was fierce.

Luxon’s Advice for World Leaders

Using a devilishly clever method (lemon-juice invisible ink), Luxon has been sending his advice in letter form without detection by the world’s press. Luckily, I too was once a boy scout.

New Zealand Children’s Books I’d Like to See

I concede Jepsen’s point that New Zealand children should be reading something that reflects their culture and is relevant to their daily lives. So, I have come up with some scenarios for children’s books that might be recognisable for Kiwi kids in 2025.

The Death of NZ Culture

When the majority Pākehā culture is spurned and a focus placed on ‘indigenous’ Māori culture and recently imported minorities, the assimilation of immigrants to a national identity becomes impossible.

16 Reasons for Not Letting 16-Year-Olds Vote

Any extension of the franchise should be a matter of mature consideration. Or, as is my preference, a matter of mockery, abuse and hysterical worse-case scenarios.

Are We Living in a Castrated Culture?

It’s not just popular music that has lost its rebellious male mojo. Film and TV are in almost total obeisance to the ‘message’ stifling creativity. The multiplexes are now home to retreads and rethinks and often swap out male energy for the feminine version.

To Make Sense of Left-Wing Foreign Policy

The reaction from the left has been predictably terrible with #IstandwithIran trending on social media. In an attempt to understand this apparent paradox (among others) in lefty foreign policy thinking, I approached an expert.